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The Art of Ignoring 'barking dogs'; How to choose your critiques? Critiquing is an art and not a pariah trick

August 25, 2021

 

Every dog has his day (Sometimes to get their backsides kicked)

When I was in College the fear of Public Speaking would really grip me. I would dread speaking in front of people.

It was horrible and I had the most terrifying experiences to tell you the least. But Today things are different.

I still have fears I need to deal with. Public Speaking is no longer a Fear rather now its more of a profession.

When you actively try working towards solving Problems, the chances of success grows. If you are Lucky the magic happens.

As an Educator we get a lot of Appreciation and Feedback. One thing I realized is that Receiving Feedback is an art as much as giving it.

There are different kinds of People (We all know that right!), But when you experience it as a Speaker it is a different experience.

There are people who will like what you say and those that just Troll you because they can.

Critiquing and Peddling Bullsh*t

I have read and watched a lot of Movie Reviews and I have a close friend who does it Professionally.

As a Movie buff we can sometimes be overly critical. But just think about it, we are only criticizing them as outsiders.

We don't know the efforts or the amount of Work these artists put into working on themselves and delivering a Performance (Whether Good or Bad).

Here comes the Critics, They are professionals who understand Cinema and the other practical aspects like Trade, Genre, technical work etc. etc.

As an Educator we have our own Lot of Critiques & Critics, Some may be even unqualified and still feel like they have the right to give their feedback (which is great) but unfounded Bullying is what I feel is disgusting.

I think Bullies whether in work, relationship or leisure is just a source of pain and frustration. They are unrequired attention seekers trying to feel important.

The worst part is when they justify themselves. You encounter these bullies not just in work or Cinema, You experience them in Relationships too.

They and their Enablers will go to any length to believe their Bullsh*t. They use self deception in a way that is Self Destructive.

In all this the victim suffers unnecessarily (in most cases these victims don't stand up for themselves and thus enables the whole situation Tacitly, my two cents)

The Art of Not Trolling

I thinking Trolling must be fun. I have never done it. But I have had a few encounters and they were not very good.

They were with some Religious Fundamentalists on Facebook. The whole experience besides being annoying; is plain disgusting.

There must be some kind of fun these Trolls enjoy. So how does one not Troll and have valuable engagements.

I think first would be to understand the Psychology and the reasons behind their action. Is this the kind of leisure one wants to engage in? Does this kind of engagement add value to anyone? How does it make the world a better Place?

Yes, The last question is also important. We can't pull this question out only when there are major calamities or Tragedies. Minor abuses and harm also carry the potential for major Tragedies.

The Next thing we should look into methods and Triggers that push our buttons. Keeping a Track of these hot issues will help us keep this tendency under control.

I think lastly trying to understand the people we disagree with. I think irrespective of People's IQ they have reasonable reasons behind their actions (Including Trolls, Just that they don't know otherwise).

The Importance of a Good Critique

Now for the Real Critic. A good critique has tremendous value.

You have an expert that shares valuable feedback.

It can be harsh sometimes but the value can be immense.

Let us take an example to understand this better.

We all have taken up some kind of sport or new Hobby at some point of time.

But we do need some coaching and support. Even If you are better than your team mates and people you know there is always some room for growth.

This is where a good critic comes in, he or she will evaluate you and your performance keeping in mind much broader parameters.

We can then use that information to improve our game. Credibility and right feedback are so important.

At some point of time, we all need some amount of healthy feedback. 

But Yes, Feedback can be unhealthy as well.

Good Pariahs vs Bad Ones

I don't believe all Trolls are bad or malicious. Some might be just jiving in to enjoy the experience, sadly at the expense of another.

They are not actually good, but in their own eyes they think so. There is nothing called a Bad or Good Bully (in my opinion).

It is basically demeaning (act) and it treats another person with lack of respect and charity.

So the so called Good and Bad pariahs fall in one category.

Self Respect and Tolerating Bullies

So you must have guessed somewhat my opinion. I think there is no reason to tolerate Bullying, disrespect or injustice of any kind.

Overlooking it is a part of the problem. We tend to overlook a lot of important issues till they become a problem for all.

I think bullies are not limited to Schools and Colleges they are there in your workplace, homes and neighborhoods too.

Don't be an Enabler and get manipulated into Helping these people. They need help of their own.

In Conclusion

I think that things will change gradually and being a part of a Positive development (Anti Bullying, Anti-Body Shaming etc.) is indeed something to treasure.

I hope this article encourages you to take a stand or at least introspect on the issue of Mental abuse, Trolling and Bullying. 

Our world has seen enough of pain, we don't need more of it.

Thank you for your time. Do subscribe to my Newsletter!. Catch you in the next post! Ciao!

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6 Steps to Personal Branding; 3 Important Reasons you should consider branding yourself

August 04, 2021

  

Why Branding is important?

I love blogging about Self help and ideas that enhance self and how we interact with each other.

Throwing in a bit of personal insights to me is a form of self expression.

Blogging is quite a competitive space and there are blogs been churned out everyday.

But I had my reasons, As I mentioned earlier. This blog has helped me express myself and reach out to people with my opinion.

I believe Personal Branding is also an essential part of Personality Development. We cannot just develop ourselves and not focus on marketing it.

I know Marketing and Sales need some sort of PR of its own. 

People normally think of Marketing as just something that gets business and bring in cash. It does, but it is the lifeline of a business.

It is about satisfying needs and wants effectively through products and services in exchange for value.

Get this E-book!

Get a your copy! Click here!


You run a business, you work as a professional. People know you and interact with you or you could say with your brand.

They have some expectations from you. They have certain impressions of you.

How about managing this effectively? How about branding it?

Branding is about building trust and delivering on promises made besides the public image. 

Why can't you do it?

Leave a legacy...Pursue excellence

You could start out in a small way. Let me share with you 6 Steps researchers say can help you get started.

But before that some important terms you need to understand.

Some Definitions and lingo

What is a Brand?

"A brand is a name, term, design, symbol or any other feature that identifies one seller's goods or service as distinct from those of other sellers."


What is Self-development?

Self-development is "the growth or improvement of one’s qualities and abilities."


What is Impression management?

"How someone presents themselves, such as the way they look, act, and treat other people. The general impression that a person presents to the public."

Urban Dictionary (lol, it was a good explanation)

Let us learn about Personal Branding; let us see its basics after we have understood understanding the definition and terms regarding the subject. 

6 Steps to Personal Branding

Personal Branding is a process that starts with you.

Lol, Obvious one Chris, It got to be 'yourself'. But how much do you understand you.

You have to define yourself as a Professional, A Person who has something of value to offer.

Branding can be an important part of your Professional success.

According to a Research Paper published in Medical Reference Services Quarterly, There are 6 Steps to Personal Branding,

(1) taking an introspective look

(2) understanding the brand that may already exist

(3) developing your personal brand mantra

(4) crafting your physical footprint

(5) creating your digital footprint, 

and (6) communicating your message

Brand promise value and performance and so does your Personal Brand.

3 Reasons for Branding Yourself

So Let us look at 3 Reasons you should consider it

1. Standout from the Competition


Bring out your uniqueness

Competition grows everyday, Professionally it can be difficult.

Help people understand what you stand for.

It not only helps you but it also helps others too.

Personal Branding will shine a focus on your plus points.

2. People, People and People

Impression management is an art 

You will be surprised to know how many people check you online.

If you are on LinkedIn have a look at the number of people checking your profile.

It is important, don't think 'Who cares what other people think of me'. We are social creatures, believe me you do care.

If you are in a job, business or without a job consider it. Learn and read about it.

You could simply subscribe to our Free Newsletter for content like this 👇🏼📫.


3. Opportunities

Practice and hit your target

There are opportunities everywhere, you never know how things may turn out.

Yes, you can leverage yourself to showcase the best in you.

Personal Branding can be used to seize opportunities at work or business.

It is a really useful tool to build your path to success.

In Conclusion

I would say Personal Branding is more than just making a noise, it is about pursuing excellence while letting people know about it.

In the future posts, I shall go deeper into each of these 6 Steps. Do check this space.

If you like this post do share & join the discussion on our FB Page.

Ciao! See you in the next post...

Reference

^Personal Branding: Building Your Pathway to Professional Success, Jodi L. Philbrick &Ana D. Cleveland, Medical Reference Services Quarterly, Volume 34,2015- Issue 2

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Ponder points: What the month of July taught me? 3 Interesting Insights that could help me change

July 17, 2021

 

July has been kind to me


Gosh! This month has been masala packed. I have personally learnt a lot.

I would like share some of my insights this month has shared with me.

This month started as a regular month. One of the precious moments being my Mom's Birthday on the 4th of July.

This pandemic has brought me close to my Wife's family. It has been an insightful experience.

My daughter started school; managing work with schooling can be a challenge for a lot of parents.

3 Insights that helped me see Life differently this month

You can choose your Perspective

Learning and insights


You must be thinking Chris, Duh, isn't it obvious? Not for me...

After consuming some content from New Agers, I realized that I don't need to be fixated into one perspective.

Since ideas have consequences , So does see things from a perspective. When we think in terms of possibilities and scan different perspectives in our day to day lives its a different matter.

I actually started practicing it. It works like magic.

You can be Assertive, but being rude is not necessary

Join our Private FB Group: Life Commune!


I think sometimes Rudeness can be needed. But mostly it is not required. 

Assertiveness is something that helps resolve issues and when we master it. We can come across as being unnecessarily rude.

It was a realization that humbled me. (This post is feeling like a confession now...Lol)

I learnt that I was expressing myself without hurting others (unnecessarily).

You can blog without writing long posts, Hop on Twitter

Twitter is fun! Connect with me.


Initially Twitter seemed like something everyone followed and enjoyed; I couldn't see the point of it.

I forced myself to sign up and just use the platform. Its simplicity is so attractive.

Sometimes a line is enough to express oneself. Writing a long post just to keep it SEO friendly for the sake of it is completely not required.

Let's connect on Twitter and microblog...

In Conclusion

I have learnt so much in 15 days, Learning can shake up a lot of wrong ideas and can open New channels that enrich you.

I would say that learning different perspectives is helpful and besides informing you it can give you useful ideas.

So I hope it is not to early but July has been a kind month for me. I wish you a great month and wonderful day.

Do share your comments and connect with me on FB. Subscribe to my Newsletter by clicking here!

References





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Osho on Awareness, Powerful Quote that summarises Awareness

July 12, 2021

 

What does Awareness mean?


I love Osho for the simplicity and the honesty in the way he explains concepts. I sometimes do not agree with all of his view and as far as I know he would expect the same.

Some of us may suffer from Overthinking. Believe me overthinking can be a pain.

Obsessively driven to rationalize and think all the time.

It can be a horrible experience. It can stifle decisions, make you seem cowardly when you are not and a whole host of negatives.

 Practicing Awareness has helped in in this regard. It has helped be more still and absorb the value of each moment.

It is a miraculous experience. Read the quote and come back to it whenever you can.


A miraculous experience

Be present in the moment and let the moment be present in you.

I hope you enjoyed this quick post. See you in the next one!

Please do subscribe to our free Newsletter

Please do share your views on our FB Page....

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Five Barriers to action now, Insights from Top Influencers and why not taking acting can be a huge loss, Just start now!

May 24, 2021

 

Barriers keeping you back...Moving beyond limitations


He got started as a Trainer and he got presented with a Network Marketing Plan. He dived into it headfirst and is really killing it. He is into Crypto Trading too and doing well there too.

Besides the Merits and Demerits of Network Marketing and Crypto, he is learning and experimenting with what he understands. You may say Chris this is so risky.

Yes, it is, but not doing anything is equally risky. The amazing thing here is the fact that he was able to make it with the opportunity he had.

Sometimes a winning mindset is about putting things into motion; accompanied by the desire to learn from mistakes and others.

Paul is not an expert trader or a master marketer, he is just a person with the right mindset and desire to learn.

Learning is risky

Yes, It can be sh*t disruptive in a bad kind of way. It shows you another part of reality and it also makes you realise how much you don't know.

One thing I know about knowledge; is in plenty. Getting too much of it will cripple you(imagine the choices and the stuff to learn). A good way is to add 'Action' to the mix.

How do we do that? Let's say you are starting a business. You are ready with your business plan.

Put it in action, Meet Probable Clients. Interview and negotiate with suppliers. So Let's say you don't have a plan.

You can still Meet people understand their needs and businesses see what they offer and how they can add value to you. It could be difficult or plain awkward. But it's better than not doing anything.

You are starting out somewhere, there is no great cost involved. You could speak over the phone or just email them a questionnaire. There are plenty of options. Be creative!

So what are some Barriers we face before we start out and we must begin now!

Why lose out?

You and I know that every endeavour however good and positive does not promise success.

Let's do a short thought experiment. You start a Coaching business online, you create videos, training material and a whole lot of goodies.

It does not give you good results. Does this mean that there is no value in your efforts?

Absolutely not! So what can be done? How can we get the value we are seeking for it?

How about leveraging what you created? Can the resource you created to be used for generating leads?

You can offer it as a free program and get leads. You can repackage it and offer it to your students in your college or school.

You can offer it as a digital product online. People can test your product and it will give you feedback. You can use this feedback to improve your offering.

There is no lost effort, just a couple of ideas to repurpose it. If all this doesn't work, maybe you can get inspiration for your next project.

Rome wasn't built in a day; so wasn't Facebook, Starbucks and other businesses. 

Some Quick Reasons to start your Dream Project:

You deserve it:

Yes, You heard me right. Just because magical thinking isn't good, but it does not mean that you don't deserve better.

Imagine getting a better career or even a new car can be life-changing to you and your close ones.

Aim, Plan and work out your plans; Leverage what you learn from the experience. Achieve your dreams, you deserve it.

It may be valuable to others too:

Being satisfied is good, Being contented may not be the best alternative. We may have what makes us happy, but centring everything around us is good in a limited way.

Expand your influence to others, your dreams and goals is also a force to bring positive change. Change into our communities and societies for the good.

That Startup and business you wanted may be a blessing in the making for others too.

Being content can be spiritual, but selfish too:

This may seem like a repetition but it's not. Contentment is awesome, the feeling of having everything that makes life better.

But being satisfied feels like we have reached our destination, Why try? We all live in communities.

Whether we acknowledge it or not, our communities have been a blessing. They are not perfect, of course. But they are not completely horrible.

Giving back is not just some kind of exemplary virtue, it's also about choosing to be less self-centred.

So before we go ahead with some of the barriers we face repeat to yourself, "Why not?"

Barriers to Taking action

Wrong Mindset

All of this “every person can be extraordinary and achieve greatness” stuff is basically just jerking off your ego. It’s shit sold to you to make you feel good for a few minutes

- Mark Manson, Being Average [Blog post]

This is a key point, Mindset can be a difficult thing to fix.

Years of conditioning, personal experiences and a whole lot of ideas though not completely wrong can prevent us from achieving what we aim for.

I remember encountering this idea in a book related to Anxiety, the idea extolled the importance of being Average.

This sounded a bit odd. Sometimes we think our projects and outcomes need to be spectacular. I am sure a lot of Online courses and gurus preach the same.

But building a robust and well-focused business or project just does not need to be spectacular. It can be average but continuously improving and serving people better.

Mindset change to me is more about accepting responsibility for your dreams and actions.

Average does not mean substandard. It just means as good as the rest, but nothing stops it from being unique and different.


Under/Over appreciation of Self

The way you see things - your attitude - is the most important factor in your success.
- Zig Ziglar

I have seen it both in myself, this is not an exercise in self-deprecation. I am just wanting to be honest. Don't think I got it all going perfect.

As a former member of a pseudo-cult, I see the harmful effects of disinformation.

I think an under or over appreciation of self are both barriers. I think it prevents us from the opportunity to deal with issues whilst learning how to improve our situations and ourselves.

If we need to improve and have a better life, we need to understand ourselves first. Maybe what is keeping us back from taking action is because we don't have a healthy view of ourselves.

Stop, think and reflect on yourself. Keep a journal to learn more about how you think.

Give yourself a chance and act on your goals. You will learn a lot about your goals and yourself too.


Having No Plan

Never begin the day until it is finished on paper

- Jim Rohn

As a former IT professional, One thing I can tell you with confidence. Planning is really powerful, But don't get lost in your plans.

When one plan does not work, an opportunity to learn and set another plan in motion.

Planning gives structure to your time and purpose. Sometimes what keeps us back is we don't know where and why to begin.

Planning takes care of the part of 'What needs to be done?' You can review your day and see how productive you have been.

Review your day against the plan you made for it. You can see how productive you have been and what are activities did not bear fruit.

In the scenario that you are able to live the day by your plan; you get to review what activities will be more beneficial and profitable. 

Create great moments and days by planning well.


Fear

Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.

- William Shakespeare

New Direction, new beginnings can have an element of the unknown. We may not know what lies ahead or how we may look in front of people.

This can bring a measure of fear. This feeling may stifle your action or the desire to act.

This can be a painful situation to be in. Take action, Yes it does not have the guarantee of success. But a chance in succeeding is better than no chance at all.

If the Plan is worthy and good to you and won't affect anybody else. It could be a place to consider planning and thought before acting on it.

Overthinking is also not good. But coupling action with planning will give you direction, it will help you realise the possibilities and reality behind your plans. 


Overestimating the Past

Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.  

- Bill Gates

So you are a veteran and experienced professional. You have tried and failed, you have seen it all.

You don't feel encouraged to continue or try something new. Maybe you need to reevaluate the way you look at your past experiences.

As a person with a fair amount of experience, I realise that sometimes we selectively look at our past. We overlook the bad or good moments depending on how situations might make us feel.

We may not be as objective as we think we are.  I personally found it more productive to learn from the past and continue with my current plans.

Success is also about the journey (Does it sound cliched? lol) But it is true...


In Conclusion

Yes, there is a lot more that can be said. But there is a lot that needs to be done.

Sometimes life and situations can be discouraging, or sometimes we may just be too lazy. I would encourage you to start today.

Maybe in a small way, Just by planning or take action on a plan. Barriers are means to take you to the next level.

Wish you a happy learning day, if you liked this article, Do Share it.

You could share your views by commenting on our FB Page.

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How Taking Action can help you achieve an impactful life? 5 Powerful life skills from Christonanda

May 11, 2021
Taking action is one of the Keys to an Impactful Life


Beginners Guide to Taking Action

Have you ever stubbed your own toe? Recently, A student while in Class did exactly that. He moved his office chair over his own feet. Gosh! That was so painful. He immediately tried to ease the pain. 

Not working on our Personal Projects and dream should feel the same, Like stubbing our own toe. Taking action for some projects should be immediate and with intent. Just like my student was hurt, we too must feel the pain of not doing what we are meant to do.

The pain of our dreams not becoming a reality. Pain can force us to get to work. 

Most of us have awesome dreams, worthy goals and reasonable projects. Why don't we take action? What is stopping us?

The answer is quite obvious to each of us. We must sometimes stop and reflect. Then we may have the answers.

Achieving the important goals of Life

Jesus may save you or Buddha may help you achieve Nirvana. But If you want to achieve your dream projects. You need to start.

Lol, It is obvious, right! But sometimes the obvious, sound profound when others say it.

There are reasons why we may want to lose weight or get rich. Maybe it's some kind of insecurity.

But think about it, What if you achieve it. Okay, Your goal is unrealistic, But you can begin and learn about the realistic part of it.

Is achieving success a solution to Mental Peace and Happiness? Maybe or Maybe not. But your goals are a symptom of a need that you have or you sense other people have.

Uncovering it may be an interesting place to start. It can be a learning experience, you may have wrong ideas or it is possible you have just been toying with myths. 

Your project is not always just for your own satisfaction, it has a broader purpose. It changes the way we live. It satisfies a need or a want that adds value to somebodies life.

Our action can be a means to enhance not just our lives but also those around us.

To connect your Goal or project with something larger. Hooking it to a Vision and a purpose will help you chart uncertain territories and help you make key decisions.

The Process of achieving your Goal is a journey. Journeys are a series of paths, actions and choices we make.

Take action and dominate your life

I always thought sharing ideas with people was something to avoid. But now I realise that ideas are in plenty.

Executing the ideas and putting them into action is what matters. When we execute ideas, we make plans.

Some of these plans take us ahead and succeed, while others teach us lessons. the problem is that people rarely think of executing ideas.

On my own personal journey, it took me quite a while to start working on my idea of starting this blog.

After a lot of prodding and pushing from people I got to work. It's been an exciting journey. It has taught me a lot.

Let me ask you a question, What stops you from starting out? Are you looking for all the resources? Do you want to begin when situations are perfect? Is it reasonable to think like this?

These are questions we need to ponder upon. But think about it, Not working on a good idea is to kill it before it bears fruit. Nothing wrong or right about it, But only potentially missed opportunities.

Inaction is also a decision in itself. Think about good ideas, plan them and shoot them down when needed. May the best idea become a reality!

Essential Steps to taking Actions now

So Let me share some pointers to use for starting out. Just some common knowledge highlighted and shared.

I have been trying to implement some of these ideas into my daily schedule.

1) Start the day on the right note

Choose to get up on the right side of the bed. Take control of your day by choosing to take control of it. It's your day, it's a chapter in your life.

Why don't you plan it and deal with important things first? Get them out of your way. If you are able to complete at least 75% of the task on your list. I would say it's a great beginning.

2) You are responsible for your own actions

Blaming others may be right in certain circumstances, but in all situations, you are responsible for your actions.

Learn to take control of the choices you make whether by action or inaction. Inaction is also a choice.

Bringing clarity to the purpose behind your actions can come by tying it to some goal you want to achieve.

3) Starting out small

I have noticed it with a lot of people, they start out in a big way and when they face difficulties they just give up. I noticed the same in myself too.

Starting out small is not bad, you get to test out and sample your big project. You can begin by introducing new habits each week. It can be really transformative.

If you lapsed into an old routine, it's no problem ...Start a new habit and continue once more.

4) Inaction is an action

It's an act not to deal with situations. You may say, Chris, There are some things difficult to deal with. Yes, there are difficult problems, but there is nothing stopping you from trying out new and various solutions.

Give various ideas a Test drive, you could do them as a thought experiment or just dedicate a few hours to try something with potential life-changing power. 

5) Focus and focus some more

I think one of the reasons we fail with our New year's resolution is this one problem. We tend to live life like goldfishes

The next distraction gets us off our focus. Slacking sometimes is normal, but punishing yourself by giving up is not necessary. You deserve to achieve that goal.

Read this short blog on dealing with the Unplanned!

6) Being Accountable

This is one powerful idea I got from Napolean Hill's book, 'Think and Grow Rich'. He speaks of a Mastermind group.

I think the modern term would be accountability partners. It does not need to be a group of people. But it depends on the scale of your project.

Be accountable to your goals and future self along with your band of supporters.

7) Don't work when you are partying

I think this is an obvious one, but quite often overlooked. Maybe cause we are not absorbed into what we are doing.

We need to be committed to achieving what is right for us. So when we party, we party and when we play, we play.

8) Become a Problem Solver

Guess what is the one fact about Science and Social Studies that motivates me. The fact that as humans our strength lies in problem-solving.

We dealt with nature by mastering what we learnt from it. We dreamed of achieving happiness and personal contentment by working on goals and our dreams.

We are problem solvers and it is a fact. We can be a bad or good problem solvers, we are problem solvers nonetheless.

9) People's opinions matter and they don't

I will not lie to you and tell you that people's opinions won't affect you. It may, but the choice is yours. I don't see how it makes a difference.

You pay your taxes and deal with your own problems. Limiting people's bad influence in life is okay.

If we become people-pleasers, when do we don't please ourselves and we sacrifice our lives for someone else's opinions.  What are the payoffs and even if you think there are some payoffs maybe they only are in your own head?

Is it worth sacrificing your goals on the altar of someone's opinion?

10) Be Enthusiastic

Anything worth doing can be done with some enthusiasm. Half-hearted and sloppy work may give results sometimes.

But enthusiasm will take you through rough patches and phases when you have no support. Be your own Cheerleader and be enthused for the goals you want to achieve.

11) Make the process, Fun

Why shouldn't it be Fun? Just because the journey can be difficult. It does not mean it should not be fun.

Try adding some fun to the process. Read and Research ways to improve the process of achieving your goals.

Plan it out and schedule fun activities. So for example, if you are Dieting. How can you add activities or events that can add fun to the process of dieting? If you are blogging what are the fun elements in blogging.

You don't need to make it a task of martyrdom although it does involve some self-sacrifice. Don't kill all the fun from the process.

12) Celebrate your milestones

Expressing joy and exhilaration in achieving something is Human. Celebrating can border on chest-thumping which may be good but it may rob you of your power and will to continue on the journey.

It may fool you into thinking that you arrived and it may rob you of the enthusiasm to continue. You deserve to achieve your goals and not an illusion of it.

In Conclusion

I think we all deserve to achieve all the good and lovely dreams we have. Except for a few people who don't deserve their dreams to become a reality (Anti Social Elements).

As Humans, we all have dreams and goals we want to achieve. We plan and that is good, But adding some action to it can be explosive.

It may get your success or the much-needed feedback to improve. Claim your dreams and work on them.

I hope this blog was able to get you working on your goals. See you in the next post, Share and Comment on something about your dreams in the comment section.

Further Reading






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Can money buy love? What does love mean to you

April 25, 2021

Can Money buy love?


I recently shared an interesting quote by Brazilian playwright Nelson Rodrigues. What do you think about it?

I had mixed reactions reading about it. When you read about love from a psychological point of view. It brings out the sacredness of love and how it relates to the sacred aspect of our lives.

The other element it looks at is the emotional life that love seeks to fulfil. According to an article in Psychology Today, love cannot be bought but only the occasions and situations that help us find it can be enhanced.

I think these are some important questions we ask ourselves. Maybe there are situations that compel us to reflect on life in this way.

On the other hand, however, we may try to rose coloured love, but there are practical aspects to a relationship we cannot ignore.

Love thrives in situations and so does our relationships. If care and attention are important for a good relationship so is the practical parts of it.

I think as we learn from the good and bad parts of our relationships we grow and learn new things. There may be many guides and articles on the science of a healthy marriage or partnership, but I think giving our best and learning actively about the other person is important.

I think sometimes we tend to fit things in a framework. This may suck the freedom and life of the other person.

The other problem is this hopeless political game of power. Yes, Power struggles can be real in a relationship.

There could be many more problems, Some are practical problems like Time or money. 

I think anything worth the while has its struggles.

I hope you found this short reflection useful. Please share this article and subscribe to our Facebook page

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Happy Women's Day, 3 Women who inspire the best in me and one of them is my wife

March 10, 2021
Women who inspire me
Women who inspire me

 
Yes, you might be thinking Women's Day is over. Chris, you are late. I must confess every day belongs to you. Carpe Diem! 

But having said that I must say looking back the women I know have been an inspiration to me.

It is amazing how people we know can share such an influence on us. 

I think we need days and moments to stop and reflect on the impact people have on us.

Influencers in our lives

Our Personal Influencers: our loved ones

We all have a circle of influence. It may be big or small. But it is important.

I once read while studying about EQ (Emotional Quotient) on the importance of choosing at least 15 people to have in our lives.

Among those 15 people, Women of course share a huge role in my life.

I see people who share lives with us and mentor us as Real Influencers we have. They may not be perfect but they are there to guide us.


My First Influencer

When I see people face family pressure for choosing a different religious or spiritual path. I think it should not be like that.

 

The first person we know (for most of us) is our Mother. My mother has been a huge influence on my life.

She would never influence the way we thought about things. We all (The Dias's) have a kind of free spirit.

I seem to like the only conservative at home. My mom has been very accommodating. As a person, I have been exploring spirituality for years.

My Mom supports that and has never confronted me and treated me like a pariah. There has rarely been a confrontation on this point. Maybe a concern, but absolute freedom. I love my mom for that.

When I see people face family pressure for choosing a different religious or spiritual path. I think it should not be like that. The family should continue to love and support the person.

It's not that my Mom endorses my religious or spiritual views but she dialogues and tries to hear me. That's so encouraging and I love my Mother for it.


One of the Reasons I love Entrepreneurship

When I look back I remember her and it encourages me to give my best. 

 

My Grandmother was an entrepreneur. She started a Small Business in Mumbai. She was a student when she came to Mumbai.

She has always been someone I look up to for inspiration. I am sure wherever she is, She is wishing the best for me.

She would take me to Church every day. I would play as a child in Church, lol it was so awesome. She would feed me fruits and tell me Biblical stories and stories about our Family.

She would share her experiences and the difficulties she faced. It was one of the best days of my life.

When I look back I remember her and it encourages me to give my best. It shows me the value of working hard and being resourceful. She showed me the importance of mentoring and sharing life with people.


My Better Half



I have been married for the last 6 years. Wow, it been a long time for me. 

My wife is one of the people who know me quite well. She is my closest friend, partner and thoughtful critic (I hope she doesn't kill me for saying this).

We all need someone to keep us grounded. She as a person has been a constant support. She has shown me a different side to life.

She is not so dogmatic about life and passionate about Teaching. During the pandemic, she would stretch herself to give her best to her students whilst being with child. She would just give her best to her work (and for me that is truly inspirational).


The Long list


My Sister, my Aunties, my close friends, and a whole host of colleagues and students have been there for me and I am ever grateful.

This blog would never end and they have been a source of inspiration and help when I needed it. 

Does this mean I have no issues with any of the above? Not at all. The problem is we fail to realize our idols are Humans too. We put them on pedestals and when they falter we demote them.

I must say all of the 3 women I mentioned are as human as Human can be. But there is a value that people and life can bring. We must acknowledge that.


In Conclusion

Women are loved and they have added tremendous value to our lives. Down the ages, they have been a source of Joy and tremendous progress.

I always wanted to say this. I think this is the power of blogging that even a video can't capture. The ability to just express freely. Once again Happy Women's Day!

In the comments section please share about the women who have inspired you.

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Chris Educator's Top 10 Affirmations on Gratefulness for building a positive attitude and patting your own back

February 22, 2021

Do you encourage yourself? Funny thought, right!

Why Affirmation?

 When I got the results I was surprised I actually got the score I had aimed for. 

How many of you have seen 'The Secret'? Let me start by a small confession. I just don't buy the idea of the law of attraction. Before you skip this page, Please wait I shall share some reasons why I don't believe it.

But regarding Affirmations, I think there are good reasons to believe it (is effective). Let me share a testimony. I could have started by listing my reasons, but I think a testimony will capture much more about how I feel. 

It was during my Grade 10 exams, I had read an article on tips for preparing for examination. Yes, Students do read and believe ideas you share (So we must be careful while sharing ideas).

This article suggested that affirmations and visualization had helped people achieve great results. I tried it everyday but not very seriously. During the day casually I reminded myself about my goal to achieve a good grade. Sometimes I would even dream about it. 

When the exams approached me, things and people just supported me and things really worked out. I got the right material for studying and my parents really supported me. It was a great experience. When I got the results I was surprised I actually got the score I had aimed for.

So did that convince to practice Affirmations and visualizations, Lol, actually no. But I do use it sometimes. But what interests me more is that how it works and its effectiveness.

What are Affirmations? Please explain. 

Affirmations are positive statements


Okay, Let me explain affirmations and what they are. Are they just repeating statements? Do they have magical powers?

So here it is, What is an Affirmation? According to Mindtools.com, "Affirmations are positive statements that can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging  and negative thoughts. When you repeat them often, and believe in them, you can start to make positive changes."

affirmations and visualization had helped people achieve great results. I tried it everyday but not very seriously. During the day casually remind myself about my goal to achieve a good grade.

So they are simple positive statements that you repeat to yourself. They are not negative statements. I know it was quite obvious. A lot of us may not realize, how we talk ourselves into negativity. I know it feels fake or just an exercise in self deception.

Patrick Bet-David from Valuetainment puts it like this, He calls it a 'Future truth'. Just Think about it, why should it be a present reality to use it as an Affirmation. It could be something that you strive for and dream about. These affirmations can be seen as an exercise in Self Motivation.

We can also use Affirmations to build a spirit of Gratitude. This has tremendous benefits.


Being Grateful and How it matters



According to Researchers, Joshua brown and Joel Wong in the Article, 'How Gratitude changes you and your brain' Gratitude has tremendous benefits.


In their research, they discovered that it has mental benefits and it also has positive effects on the brain. It can be used as an 'effective beneficial tool'. Please do read the article.

It can have a great benefits in your personal life, relationships and understanding others. It helps us see the positive in our lives. Rather than just building on the positivity it helps by reminding us of the benefits we are receiving from various situations, things and life in general.

Woo woo and the known

The science behind the 'Law of Attraction' is highly questionable. They try to use Quantum Mechanics and then use that as a spring board to tie it with affirmation and give it magical powers.

I don't see why they should build such a big claim on limited evidence. Quantum Mechanics is a science and there is scope for learning a lot more information. This can transform technology. But to claim that it would attract riches and good health is largely unproven scientifically.

Yes, I must say if you have a spiritual or religious connection to the theory than the topic would need to be approached from a different route. I don't see the connection it has with Science and how is different from Psychological benefits

Here is an interesting article by Ashley L. Peterson where she explores the question if Thoughts vibrate, Check it here.

Reasonable Use of know facts

Affirmations are not inherently magical


I believe in the reasonable use of facts ( and let me add experiences). I am not saying that we should discount spiritual experiences, but I do believe we must practice a certain level of healthy skepticism.

We know about the psychological and practical benefits of practicing Gratitude. We can now start by actually writing our own Gratitude statements.

Some tips to write your own Gratitude Statement:
Step 1: Write it in the 1st Person.
Step 2: You could begin the statement with 'I am'.
Step 3: Avoid using negative statements or words.
Step 4: Write them down.
Step 5: Read them aloud to yourself.

You create a gratitude journal, Please check this article on  Creating your own Gratitude Journal.

My Top Affirmations for Gratitude

  1. I am filled with thanksgiving.
  2. I am grateful and thankful.
  3. I am grateful for a good sleep, job etc. (add the Benefit you enjoy) 
  4. I am grateful for all of my successes.
  5. I am grateful for all of my mistakes and failures.
  6. Thank you for this New day.
  7. Today I will have an attitude of gratitude.
  8. I am grateful for everything in my life.
  9. Today I will have an attitude of success.
  10. I am grateful for all resources I have.
In Conclusion

It can be surprising how simple practices and strategies can enhance life. Self Development is a personal journey.

Practicing gratitude is just not a virtue but also a healthy practice that can enhance your mental and overall health.

I send out regular emails sharing additional content on Self Development and updates. Please do subscribe by using this link.

Do Share & Comment on How you practice Gratitude!

References

Study on Affirmation

Positive Affirmation by Actualized.org

Reasons to Practice Gratefulness

Power Ideas on Experience your Daily Miracles

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