How I overcame my Fear of Public Speaking? 101 Lessons I learnt from the School of Hard knocks, Numerous Trials and Errors

September 18, 2021

Public Speaking is about your Audience

Hey Chris!, You must be born a great speaker. You just speak your mind, Gosh! How do you do that? I have heard many comments and candid confessions from near and dear ones.

But as most of them know, It was not easy for me. In my College days, I was good Catholic boy (Now I am good catholic man with a small 'c')

I was a volunteer  at the local prayer group. We use to participate in cultural activities and interact with families.

When our prayer group shifted to another part of the city, our Prayer leader decided to connect with local schools and the local church community.

We gave presentations and I would just volunteer (mostly ushering people and smiling when needed). One day my Prayer Leader asked me to give a 45 minutes talk on the importance of the Holy Rosary.

I started collecting all the books available on Public Speaking. I was not prepared for it.

So I started reading up books on Public Speaking and books on the Rosary. I thought that I would be able to speak when the time was right.

I practiced in front of the mirror and I thought I was going to be okay. When the day had arrived I just couldn't open my mouth.

I picked up some courage and I spoke. I spoke all the information I knew and guess what I managed to speak for only 10 minutes.

What was going to happen for the next 35 minutes? What was I going to say? I just excused myself and moved away.

At that moment I thought 'flight' was a better response than other alternatives. I thought it didn't make sense to deal with a situation I never knew how to manage.

A decade later I was ready to lecture and speak with confidence. I was able to share my ideas and opinions.

Public Speaking can be difficult for the unprepared


This confidence and transition was not some kind of miracle. It was the result of an effort.

An Effort to achieve a Goal to change. Did I attend a course or read a book?

I did both and they helped me tremendously. But it was also the constant push and desire to make something happen.

A lot of times we think that things will miraculously change if you read a book or join a course?

Things will change, but it might only mean having more information about the strategies and techniques.

By themselves Strategies and techniques are not enough. One needs to also practice and be open to making mistakes.

One thing I learnt from the Bad Experiences I had with Public Speaking. They teach you a lot about yourself and people.

After the bad experience I had as a young College Student. I remember friends and people coming up to me and encouraging me.

Thinking about it I realized that your audience wants you to do a good job and are most willing to support you. Though sometimes it may not seem like that.

There are different kinds of people and we need to accept that reality. 

So Here are some Pointers I think beginners need to know about Public Speaking that I learnt.


#Number 1: Respect your audience



I remember people telling me to treat your Audience is like Pumpkins. Besides being a  horribly bad advice I think it is not true.

The audience might have people who are masters on the topic you are covering. When you respect your audience you mentally treat them as partners or participants rather than just a spectator.

Your Audience is giving you their attention; ask a marketer or salesman and they will tell you the value of attention.

It is a wonderful opportunity to share what you know and learn. When we share we explore ideas as a community.

I believe Public Speaking is a two way street. The Speaker uses primarily words to communicate and the audience uses body language, reactions etc.


#Number 2: Prepare well

It is an amazing experience Researching, it is like an adventure.


We live in an information age. There is an abundance of good information.

Preparing well would mean to me; Researching well.

Sifting through information you judge relevant to your audience or Topic at hand.

It is an amazing experience Researching, it is like an adventure.

One question opens up like a proverbial can of worms. You begin to see how an idea can be applied or is applied in various contexts and situations.

So Preparing well will also include writing your ideas and presenting them in a way that is coherent.

You can share a handout or some notes from what you have spoken to your audience in a digital format.

We live in a digital age, connecting and sharing good content is highly valuable.


#Number 3: Believe in yourself

Leaders are made


This is a line that is overused. I think but we all (at times) don't grasp the meaning of it in our hearts or we just take ourselves for granted.

We have tremendous potential to create something amazing. Look around and see all the great services and products you use.

They have been made possible by someone who believes in their own abilities to share something valuable to the world.

When you are engaging in Public Speaking you are sharing a part of you with others.


#Number 4: Practice well

Your audience wants you to succeed

You don't need to just practice in front of a mirror. I will throw a wild guess here, You have at least more than 10 friends on Facebook.

Request them to be your audience and review your talk. You could use those pointers in your presentation.

Go on Twitter and share your ideas. This will help you prepare better material.

There is no Rules here, You can be creative here. Practicing means more than memorizing lines.

It also can mean delivering better content.


#Number 5: Research on the topic

Public Speaking can be more than sharing information


You consider this as a Point connected to Preparing well.

But I include it as a separate pointer to emphasize this important aspect of Research.

It focuses on dealing with a problem or issues.

You must decide clearly what you want to share with the audience. Do you want your Presentation to be informative, entertaining or anything else?

This will set the tone for the way you collect material and deliver it.


#Number 6: Speak on what interests your Audience



Chris, How would you know that? If you have prepared well ask them directly. Then craft your presentation to what you and your audience have decided.

You can also interview the organizer or speak to some members of the audience before you  deliver your presentation.

You could also check online forums and groups for the topics that interests people.
You will get a lot of insights into topics that interests people.

Google search, Quora, Reddit or even Facebook groups are a great place to get great insights.

What is stopping you from getting insights about your audience? If you are wrong about it. 

Not an issue, as you have list of topics you can focus on (for your presentation).


#Number 7: It is not about you

The purpose is to express


I remember learning this from an Urdu Theater Guru, Iqbal Niyazi. He always says that Theater ( you could add Blogging, Public Speaking etc. here) is about expressing and not impressing.

We sometimes make it about numbers and impressing people. I think even if there is just one person who gives their time and attention, You are obliged to give your best.

Numbers are important and not important too. There is no wasted effort, It is only our Perception that makes use feel that way.

In Conclusion

We engage in Public Speaking everyday. We just don't realize it. In our offices when we speak to our teams, in Parties and other social situations.

We think that Public Speaking is limited to the Podium or Stage. In a way it is and it is not, What matters here is what you want to share.

I hope this post finds you good health and do share your thoughts on our FB Page.

You can subscribe to our Newsletter, I send you updates on the blogs I share and other ideas. You can click here to join.

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Motivational Quote: Is it okay to wait and do nothing? Does it help?

September 13, 2021

 

Doing nothing can be something (Something fruitful)

G.K Chesterton is a very insightful and well respected Thinker. He would put forward the most complex ideas into simple and insightful thoughts.

I must confess I have not read everything he has written. I usually read because I learn something from it and It spurs my thinking and imagination to help me grow better.

I used to never believe in Destiny or Luck, After a lot of horrible experiences (Which everybody goes through) it helped me realize the importance of doing nothing.

I don't believe in Luck still, But it made me think about situations that are difficult to deal with and with no possible solutions.

We can feel crippled by this and even have life ending situations. I think if you are feeling suicidal, Please seek help from a licensed Mental Health professional.

Personally, I have learnt that it is important to accept certain things the way it is. Some things can't change, but we change the way we deal with it.



Waiting and giving time to certain plans may cause you to lose certain opportunities but it can also open up your thinking to new potential ideas and realities.

When we choose to do nothing, we are actually choosing to pay attention to other things. We give a certain amount of control to Destiny or Luck.

We allow ourselves to focus on choosing our struggles and dealing with what is important. Even no action is a choice and a Strategy.

If this thought resonated with you, Do join the discussion on my Facebook Page.

Thank you for your time. I have a Free Newsletter I would you to subscribe to it, Click here☝🏼

Further Recommended Reads

Quotes for Success

May your day to awesome

Importance of Self Image

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The Art of Ignoring 'barking dogs'; How to choose your critiques? Critiquing is an art and not a pariah trick

August 25, 2021

 

Every dog has his day (Sometimes to get their backsides kicked)

When I was in College the fear of Public Speaking would really grip me. I would dread speaking in front of people.

It was horrible and I had the most terrifying experiences to tell you the least. But Today things are different.

I still have fears I need to deal with. Public Speaking is no longer a Fear rather now its more of a profession.

When you actively try working towards solving Problems, the chances of success grows. If you are Lucky the magic happens.

As an Educator we get a lot of Appreciation and Feedback. One thing I realized is that Receiving Feedback is an art as much as giving it.

There are different kinds of People (We all know that right!), But when you experience it as a Speaker it is a different experience.

There are people who will like what you say and those that just Troll you because they can.

Critiquing and Peddling Bullsh*t

I have read and watched a lot of Movie Reviews and I have a close friend who does it Professionally.

As a Movie buff we can sometimes be overly critical. But just think about it, we are only criticizing them as outsiders.

We don't know the efforts or the amount of Work these artists put into working on themselves and delivering a Performance (Whether Good or Bad).

Here comes the Critics, They are professionals who understand Cinema and the other practical aspects like Trade, Genre, technical work etc. etc.

As an Educator we have our own Lot of Critiques & Critics, Some may be even unqualified and still feel like they have the right to give their feedback (which is great) but unfounded Bullying is what I feel is disgusting.

I think Bullies whether in work, relationship or leisure is just a source of pain and frustration. They are unrequired attention seekers trying to feel important.

The worst part is when they justify themselves. You encounter these bullies not just in work or Cinema, You experience them in Relationships too.

They and their Enablers will go to any length to believe their Bullsh*t. They use self deception in a way that is Self Destructive.

In all this the victim suffers unnecessarily (in most cases these victims don't stand up for themselves and thus enables the whole situation Tacitly, my two cents)

The Art of Not Trolling

I thinking Trolling must be fun. I have never done it. But I have had a few encounters and they were not very good.

They were with some Religious Fundamentalists on Facebook. The whole experience besides being annoying; is plain disgusting.

There must be some kind of fun these Trolls enjoy. So how does one not Troll and have valuable engagements.

I think first would be to understand the Psychology and the reasons behind their action. Is this the kind of leisure one wants to engage in? Does this kind of engagement add value to anyone? How does it make the world a better Place?

Yes, The last question is also important. We can't pull this question out only when there are major calamities or Tragedies. Minor abuses and harm also carry the potential for major Tragedies.

The Next thing we should look into methods and Triggers that push our buttons. Keeping a Track of these hot issues will help us keep this tendency under control.

I think lastly trying to understand the people we disagree with. I think irrespective of People's IQ they have reasonable reasons behind their actions (Including Trolls, Just that they don't know otherwise).

The Importance of a Good Critique

Now for the Real Critic. A good critique has tremendous value.

You have an expert that shares valuable feedback.

It can be harsh sometimes but the value can be immense.

Let us take an example to understand this better.

We all have taken up some kind of sport or new Hobby at some point of time.

But we do need some coaching and support. Even If you are better than your team mates and people you know there is always some room for growth.

This is where a good critic comes in, he or she will evaluate you and your performance keeping in mind much broader parameters.

We can then use that information to improve our game. Credibility and right feedback are so important.

At some point of time, we all need some amount of healthy feedback. 

But Yes, Feedback can be unhealthy as well.

Good Pariahs vs Bad Ones

I don't believe all Trolls are bad or malicious. Some might be just jiving in to enjoy the experience, sadly at the expense of another.

They are not actually good, but in their own eyes they think so. There is nothing called a Bad or Good Bully (in my opinion).

It is basically demeaning (act) and it treats another person with lack of respect and charity.

So the so called Good and Bad pariahs fall in one category.

Self Respect and Tolerating Bullies

So you must have guessed somewhat my opinion. I think there is no reason to tolerate Bullying, disrespect or injustice of any kind.

Overlooking it is a part of the problem. We tend to overlook a lot of important issues till they become a problem for all.

I think bullies are not limited to Schools and Colleges they are there in your workplace, homes and neighborhoods too.

Don't be an Enabler and get manipulated into Helping these people. They need help of their own.

In Conclusion

I think that things will change gradually and being a part of a Positive development (Anti Bullying, Anti-Body Shaming etc.) is indeed something to treasure.

I hope this article encourages you to take a stand or at least introspect on the issue of Mental abuse, Trolling and Bullying. 

Our world has seen enough of pain, we don't need more of it.

Thank you for your time. Do subscribe to my Newsletter!. Catch you in the next post! Ciao!

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5 Amazing Motivational Quotes on Success to drive you to a power-packed Start, Crafted to drive you to act now.

August 20, 2021

Motivational quotes to push you to Success

We all need a little push. A little nudge to push us ahead.

Okay, You don't need one. Share this post with someone who needs it.

Read it and see if it works. I think these quotes will get them thinking.

Words have Power whether you know or not (and it is not magic).

It is the way things are, We process ideas and we understand symbols as human beings.

One may think that we all have different aims and goals; how would these quotes be relevant to everyone.

Isn't everyone different? Yes, we are all different and it is good thing. But there is one thing that connects us all our Humanity.

As Humans we yearn for something that drive us and keeps us hopeful and positive, we could call that motivation (at least colloquially).

Importance of Taking Action

But before I share it, Let me remind you of some reasons you may want to take action on your goals.

I am not perfect and I procrastinate as well. Yes, I do and I strive to be better.

I don't want to pretend like I got it all sorted, I don't. 

So here are some reasons I am sharing, You could check this post if you would like to read about them in detail.

Reason #1 You Deserve it
Reason #2 It may be valuable to others
Reason #3 It is not Selfish

There are more reasons as well, I would encourage you to share it on my FB Page.

It will be a nice discussion, See you there.

Now Let us take a serious look at some of these Quotes.

Taking Action Quotes

I have handpicked these quotes that resonate with me.

I believe it summarizes what it means to take action.

I think taking small steps is more important than not working at your dreams.

Your actions don't need to be perfect, it needs to be in the right direction.

Quote #1:  You don't need Luck



Quote #2:  The opportunity is now





Quote #3:  Have a vision



Quote #4:  Value yourself first


In Conclusion

I am sure you found these quotes interesting. I also know that you would be having a different take on each of them.

My aim is not to be pushy but to encourage you. Each one of us have a unique situation.

But we all need encouragement. I hope you found this post interesting.

Catch you in the next post. Do join me on my FB page to discuss these quotes.

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How good choices can make your Day? Have an awesome time

August 16, 2021

 

What is your choice today?

It is amazing how much freedom we have and take for granted. Yesterday we celebrated Independence Day.

My Catholic friends celebrated a Religious feast along with it. We made homemade sweets coupled with a family dinner .

Overall it was a pleasant day, But I can't count the number of days that were horrible.

A couple of days ago this thought popped in my head, It goes like this. If you can choose to be happy and also choose to see problems from different perspectives, we can also choose to be happy or even an awesome day.

Awesome days don't need to be perfect. I think they are crappy days like the rest of the days, but the only difference is that we have good and pleasant attitude.

The Power of choices is amazing, how we can make choices with outcomes that can potentially surprise us.

So I would like to encourage you with this small quote.




I wish you better choices, and an awesome day ( for the rest a good night's sleep).

In Conclusion

I would like to say this is more of a commitment to myself to make better and small, but powerful choices.

Yes I may fail sometimes, but who doesn't. Take care and catch you in the next post.

You can connect with me on my Facebook Page.

Powerful Professional Ideas you can use to quick start your next Profitable Side Hustle

August 14, 2021

Professional Side Hustle: Create an Asset that pays while keeping your job

 
Do you need some work that is fun? Are you looking for an opportunity?

These are some of the questions you have but you are connecting with the wrong people.

How about leverage what you know and help other? If you make an asset that pays you long term or may be immediately, Why not!

Does this sound interesting...There are many ideas you steal to do exactly that.

These ideas will not make you a millionaire or get you a Ferrari, but it can help you connect with people.


via GIPHY


It can help you experiment and try out some of the ideas you have. If it works you not only help a lot of people, you also help your self with some extra income (I won't call it 'Passive Income', it is not passive) I would call it 'Leisure Income'.

I have listed 10 ideas you could use to leverage your experience and help people by creating some awesome products.

Top 10 ideas that are Professional and Powerful:

Publish your e-books

Check this Free E-Book on Personal Branding

Yes, You heard it right. Publishing a book. Do you read blogs and articles? I am sure you read the news and also love to read books sometimes.

You can share some of your insights in an e-book. You can use an online word processor like Google Docs for the draft of the book. You could couple it with Canva for the book cover and other necessary templates.

Check my store on Gumroad, Click here!

Next you could, Review and Proofread your work (or even directly publish it) with service available on Fiverr or Upwork.

How to sell it? Create a Gumroad Account and paste the link on Social Media. That is it...It is that simple.

Craft Video courses

Create your own Video Course

You have a mobile camera. Use it to shoot a video. You can use apps like InShot or Kinemaster to edit the video.

Then upload the video on YouTube or Instagram. If you get a good response create a Course on Udemy or Gumroad.

You don't even need to show your face or narrate. You can add free stock music and add subtitles for the text.

I am not sure if you know, you can also create amazing videos on Canva. Try it out.

Host a workshop

Take this workshop online with Google meet or Zoom

You have a Google account. You have Google Meet. It is free and you can host a workshop for a group of upto 100 people on free account.

You can have each session up to 1 hour. You can collect the payment on Gumroad and send your customers a joining link.

Throw them a free E-book and incase they missed the call, Upload the recording on Gumroad for free.

Develop software apps

Build your dream app now! Join Bubble

Yes, You would need to learn coding. Believe in yourself you can do it.

Okay, you don't have that much confidence...No problem, Have you heard of Bubble.

Yes this web app can help you develop your own web based application in a breeze.

It is a no code platform and they have an amazing tutorial to get you started.

You literally create application you have been using. Let us name a few, How about create your own social network site, or lets say you want to create an application to take a survey, with Bubble you can do it quick.

They have a free version to get you started and you only need two things. One the will and good imagination to get you started.

Leverage your skillset by Freelancing

Don't get feverish about Passive Income, monetize your leisure

You want to get a part time gig. Look no further, you need to get on to this two platforms.

The first Platform is Upwork and the next one is Fiverr. It takes away all the pain of Networking and marketing yourself.

You directly can send a bid and apply for your next gig. Get paid on a hourly or project basis.

You can also showcase your existing work on the platform. They have premium versions too.

It is a great place to leverage your skills. Give it a try.

Starting a Podcast

Nah! I don't have a Podcast...I blog

You don't like to get in front of the camera. You just want to share your ideas without writing a word.

How about create a Podcast? You have many paid platforms where you can host your podcast.

But if you want to test the water, here are a few mentionable platforms, Anchor.fm, SoundCloud, libsyn, Podbean etc.

You just need to be clear about the niche you are into and the audience you have in mind.

If you don't have a great microphone, you could record your voice on your mobile phone or laptop.

Download Audacity and edit your voice clip. There are beautiful tutorials online to get started with sound editing. 

You will pick up skills along the way, but first get started.

Starting a Newsletter

Join my Newsletter, It is not a funnel and it is Free!

You may say Chris, I don't want to blog. It is okay don't do that, but if you like writing or podcasting.

You could share it with people and get paid for it too.

You could start a Newsletter. There are many platforms that are amazing to start Newsletters.

I will recommend 2 of the platforms that I currently use as a Subscriber and will probably use the platform in the future (Let's see, just toying with ideas).

The first platform is Substack and the other one is Revue by Twitter. 

You can share your ideas, views and take on various events. Create and share exclusive content to your audience.

Once you have a good following you can monetize your Newsletter on these platforms.

The amazing part is a Subscriber gets to sample the content before subscribing. Both of these platforms have list of the previous posts.

The other best part is the monetization. You can charge a subscription fee and even add your domain name if you don't have one.

Now no excuses, Hop on to Substack or Revue get one. DM me and I will subscribe (Pucca promise)

Starting a YouTube channel

Start your own Channel, YouTube is literally everywhere

This one is obvious. There are many YouTube channels on how to start one.

I would recommend two of my favorite YouTubers, Nick Nimmin and his brother, Dee Nimmin.

They will guide you through the whole game of Vodcasting and you can have your own channel.

DM me and I will subscribe (I will drop some comments too :P)

Starting a community

Life Commune: Free to join, No Hidden Charges!

This is way down on my list but I think this is the best of the lot.

Starting your own community. Yes you can make it a gig.

You can monetize through a subscription or by Ads.

You can build the group around a Topic or Profession you are passionate about. Then build an audience before you think of monetizing it.

Do offer your experience and value to your audience. You can start with FB Groups, Mighty Networks or even Discord to build your Community.

The Best part is it is absolutely Free.

Offer Tutoring services

Yes, I offer tutoring services. Drop me a message if your interested.

Yes, you can become a Tutor. I do offer Tuitions and it is fun.

I get to interact with School and College Students.

It is a fulfilling experience and you can make a Passive Income (Leisure Income) by helping people learn better.

In Conclusion

You can leverage your skills, have fun while doing it and learn, grow and help people too.

It is amazing the things you can do with Free Time.

Do try some of. these ideas and if you create something; If this post has inspired in someway do write a Review on my FB Page.

Take Care! Bye for now!

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