Counter-Intuitive Idea that Customers have a Responsibility What is Positive Feedback? A Few Days back I got the whacked idea of just telling some of the service providers they were doing a great job. Practising Assertiveness has been quite awesome, but sometimes People can mistake me for a d*ckh@3d. Lol, Sorry for using the expletives. But it clearly brings out the right feeling of how people would feel about someone being only assertive. The important thing is that it made me feel so good to appreciate another person. Though I was paying for the service, encouraging another to serve better... I wasn't going to lose anything. So to understand Positive Feedback, I would like to start with defining it. To each one Positive Feedback could mean something different.  I will be using a  Management Definition of Positive Feedback. According to Better Team, It is defined as, "Positive feedback is given to employees when they meet or exceed business targets, overcome a challenge, go the extra mile, or introduce innovative ideas." So in the context of Management, it is used to encourage employees to meet or exceed business targets or overcome challenges. Definitions apart I think it is a great practice. If we think it through this practice is also relevant in our daily lives. We could apply this Management concept to people who provide us with a service or add value to us. It helps encourage positive behaviour and it helps us express Gratitude that builds people. I believe this is a really transformative and personally self-building habit to have. So now let us delve into how this could be important. Why is positive feedback important? I want to start by looking at the Telos for Positive Feedback. The hints of it are included all around the definition. It is also included in our understanding of Feedback. Feedback is generally used in the context of Management to help the employee understand how they have been working. The employee gets an idea of how they are working with standards and fulfilling company objectives. Positive feedback tells an employee they are doing a good job. This feedback is also important to a lot of Professionals that serve us every day. They could be self-employed or local small businesses who are doing their work better than expected.  Positive feedback is important for them too. It would help them get more passionate about their work and get healthy support. (that all of us need often) How to give Positive Feedback... So there are different ways to do that. A lot of it is quite simple and just requires recognising the value the other person has created for us. I am going to give some pointers on how to give feedback to anyone.  Point Number 1: Coupling Positive Feedback with Negative Feedback via GIPHY Giving Positive Feedback does not mean you don't tell them where they need improvement. It would sometimes come to our minds how the other person may receive it. But to think about it, we don't control people's reactions. The courtesy shown with intentions and love should be something that helps us understand that we are using our expression of Gratitude constructively. Point Number 2: Using Positive Language Mention positive points and speak about any issues too This could be when writing feedback or even telling the person. You could simply mention what you like about it. You could also use simple expressions like 'Well Done' or 'Fantastic' etc. If you are super impressed you could say things like "Fantastic!" or "Awesome" etc. Point Number 3: Medium doesn't Matter, But the timing does Feedback is good Each of us has our own way of expressing ourselves. One could write a note or drop a review online. Tell the person about what impressed you about the work he or she did directly. I think besides doing this, timing also matters. So how do we know the right time to give a business or professional feedback? When we see that it would relevant to the person. One hint could be you see that they are going the extra mile to do a good job. Positive Feedback Situations Here are some situations that I can think of: Customer Service Person was better than expected The teacher gave an interesting Lecture Health care professional helped you get better A Local Business gave you a huge discount There are innumerable situations that can encourage people and build them up. Feedback is a very essential component to grow better. We all need it, but not the destructive kind that tears people down. So whether you are giving positive or negative feedback it is both healthy and essential. You could use some of the pointers I gave you earlier and drop a line or two on paper.  You could even tell the person and share a positive review online. In Conclusion I think all of us would love to hear kind and encouraging words that break our routines and remind us we are doing things make a difference (though we do not realise it). Receiving feedback can be difficult, but constructive and well-communicated feedback can really help people. Please do consider sharing any constructive feedback, it would be a blessing. Do like & share this article. Thank you for stopping by. I will meet you in the next article. References: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_feedback https://www.thebalancecareers.com/giving-positive-feedback-2275335 [full-width]

The Art of not joining a course you don't need and not be sucked into joining one.

As an Educator blogging was a new task. As I mentioned earlier, after a lot of prodding and pushing from friends and family I decided to do this.

It's been a learning experience. I must say, Do I recommend it for everyone yes and no.

No, Because as a Trainer who teaches Communication skills I don't think it to be the sole medium out there.

I must admit I initially thought of it as not something that important...But it surprised me the potential that simple activities like blogging and vlogging can have.

It is tremendous. Just move over to Patreon and see Artists, Educators, Vloggers, Musicians sharing their passion and people supporting them. It's so encouraging.

Is there a Magic Formula?

Yes, Passion & Hardwork. It cannot be taught, but it can be 'Caught'.

Nowadays there the internet is sort of flooded with courses. Some of them promise huge incomes and quick. solutions.

So are all of them frauds? Maybe not. I believe it also depends on the students too.

Let me explain 'Why' and 'How'.

The 'Why'  

Before we undertake any study, we need to understand some background about it.

I remember earlier in the days when 3D animation was one of the new courses been offered amongst various other computer courses.

People would join a computer course thinking that they would be able to create animations. 

It's only after spending much time and understanding that they would see the difference.

It was spending time and effort to study what was going on that helped them see the difference.

So if you join a wrong course, Maybe the Marketing was exaggerated and maybe they promised the moon and you did n't get it, but I do think it's also important to understand the topics that are going to be covered in a course.

This would help you evaluate the usefulness of it. Secondly, I would give importance to understanding the credibility of the Instructor.

Testimonials are good, but case studies are better. It would help you see how the system or information they are teaching has been making a difference.

The 'How'

So here I am going to look at 'How' about being misdirected into joining a course, community, or anything you don't want to be a part of.

Marketing is a lovely tool to present the best service or product. But can be misused to misdirect and get a sale.

Eventually, you get sucked into a funnel which later would seem like a long rabbit hole. One that rips you off at various junctures or maybe even benefits you.

So to understand How one can be responsible for all this could be to look at our motives.

Some examples of wrong motives. We want a quick fix to learning a major skill or we think we can hear our way to Experience. The wrong idea that only learning or hearing about something is enough.

Most of us will agree that first-hand experience is really valuable and that sometimes are individual experiences though useful to others can sometimes not fit right with everybody.

It's just a human experience. Now coming back to the 'How' question. I would say it is important to take responsibility for our learning.

What does this mean in real life...Doing background research into what you are seeking to learn and how this relates to you.

How the course would help you achieve your goals and it could practically help you. It is possible courses could meet 80% of what you expected. Would that be reasonable... 

Related to that would be. What was participation like?

Did you give feedback to the instructor, How did the instructor receive the feedback? 

Did you come to the course with certain misconceptions about the course?

Many important and related questions that would surely come to our minds. But I do think it all starts with the student.

In short, your Homework starts before you join the course.

3 Things to look at while joining a 'Course'

Look before you leap

Joining a Course is not a short cut to Learning

Yes, you read it right. Joining a course can be fun, but as an instructor, we can influence our students a lot.

But using this influence to hard-sell products, in my opinion, is wrong.

So before doing a course, we must be clear just not about the title of the course. We must also have a look at what is taught in the course.

Just joining a course will not make you a Super Digital marketer or get you $10k income per month.

Yes, it can teach you a system that can help. 

But the important thing to realize is that ultimately the responsibility of taking action resides solely on your shoulders.

Focus on the 20%

   Interesting Video by Coffeezilla on Fake guru courses

Use the Pareto principle, Understand what is the chunk of the course that can help you.

Try to understand how the remaining course ties up with what course promises to deliver.

Explore the topics you are learning by reading some white papers and case studies.

This will broaden your understanding. It will give a better grip on the topic.

But on the flip side, if not done properly it can lead to just absorbing information and lack of action.

Teaching is an art

Being a Teacher is an art, and just not a Profession

Just because someone is a good artist or musician or Marketer, it does n't mean that the person is going to be a good teacher.

Teaching is an art and experience teaches you a lot. Just like other professions, one is a good or a bad teacher which is different from a Non-Teacher (Or one could say an Educator).

I believe a good Educator should balance Theory and Application. Some people would not like Theory.

I believe Theory is important because it gives you the vocabulary to stay tuned with ongoing Research and connected with the shared body of knowledge in a given area of study or field.

Wrapping it up

We live in an information age, but educating ourselves becomes even more important to avoid bad choices.

It is a great endeavour to continually educate ourselves, to learn new ideas and change.

But the reality also is that Education has a commercial side to it. 

Please do Share your feedback in the comment section, I would like to know about any experiences you had with online courses. 

It would be interesting to know about any experience, Good or Bad.

Thank you for your time...Meet you in the next blog post. Ciao!

Dark Night of the Soul: 3 Insightful Ideas to get through it

Life for most of us can be normal most of the time. There are phases of being elated and some painful episodes thrown in between.

These Painful periods can come all of a sudden or can pull us gradually into it. It can be induced as a kind of discipline by ascetically motivated (I imagine...Dan Brown-style...Self Flagellating, Lol)

via GIPHY

It's often called the Dark Night of the soul. A Period where everything seems confusing and topsy turvy. It can feel like your joys are just pulled away from you.

It's a pretty crappy phase. But it can teach one a lot. If this describes what's happening, Believe me, it would feel like no understands you and you are like the only person who has gone through it.

But it's not at all like that, It's happened to me once. It's a long story and I don't think this is the right medium to express those experiences. In my head (at least), I think it could easily fill a book.

What People say about it

The concept is derived from a 16th Century Mystic, St. John of the Cross. He was a Catholic Saint and he wrote about the experience in a poem.

Going through so many quotes it's amazing how the experience is common and at the same time transformative.

For me, it was like a Job (a Biblical character) like experience. The common thread is pain and transformation.

I wanted to quote some people here, But no. I will be sharing links to other articles. I think it would be like reinventing the wheel.

The idea is to inform you and help. I have been there and it can feel really lonely. Here are some interesting articles.

Article No. 1

The Dark Night of the Soul: Understanding Amidst the Absence of Meaning by Joshua Press.

In article, Joshua shares beautiful quotes on Dark Night of the Soul (DNTS). He shares interesting points and the transformative experience of it.

It's an article that can get you to understand the topic deeper and from a different perspective.

Article No. 2

18 Signs You’re Experiencing A Dark Night Of The Soul, Otherwise Known As an Existential Crisis by Brianna Wiest.

This article speaks on the way to identify if you are going through it. 

She covers a list of points that would help you identify DNTS in your life or situation.

Article No.3 (Not exactly an Article, But a Wiki)

Dark Night of the Soul by Wikipedia

This wiki covers various aspects of DNTS and it is quite informative.

There could be more resources but I think this would give us a good way to explore the topic a bit more. 

Why I think it's an Opportunity

Looking back, I think it was actually an opportunity. I realized the freedom I had in myself. 

I saw the Bullshit all around, all the things that were actually tying me down and pull me under its weight.

Maybe sometimes things are allowed to happen to us to free us (I am sure many people may not like what I am saying).

Sometimes rebooting and starting over may not be a bad thing. It could be for the good. 

We can use our insights and troubles to benefit.

Clichéd but we could actually Transform our Mess into a Message.

Some Pointers

3 R's

Delay Decision Making

Don't rush making important decisions

When we are not in a proper zone Mentally I wonder how wise it is to make a decision.

Think about it, it is not. Rational and well thought of decisions can go bad ( Due unknown factors )

So imagine making Life-changing decisions when things are very different from normal.

I heard this advice from a Preacher John Mac Arthur ( I don't agree with all that he says, But Good advice is good)

When you are going through the Dark Night of the soul mode, it can really screw with your head.

See-through the Illusion

via GIPHY

Sometimes when things are difficult or we are trying to solve problems sticking to only one perspective can be binding and many can be confusing.

This power idea caught my attention. The idea that when we are in difficult moments we only tend to evaluate our past through dark lenses.

We paint everything bad and gloomy. Maybe we need to see things from another perspective.

May be like an illusion careful analysis and wisdom would be required to understand things. I believe our situations are no different.

Conclusion

DNTS can be difficult, but it should encourage you that many people have shared the same experience.

They have used situations like this to transform themselves. It's human and normal to have experiences like these. 

If you find it overburdensome, share your experiences with a friend or a professional counselor.

I hope this article was interesting and has helped you. Do share this article and give me your feedback about my thoughts/opinions and how you find my website.

Catch you in the next post. 

Understanding Introversion and some wrong ideas about it

Introversion is not a disease

I found a journal comic I drew in 2006, at the start of exploring that medium. It was a contemplation on the ennui of solo travel in closeted, introverted times. But now it brings forth an odd, imperfect feeling of introversion being a source of strength during social distancing. pic.twitter.com/FovbdJJcJK

— The Wolves Outside (@outsidewolves) July 12, 2020

I have been comfortable with being me for quite a long time. 

But during my shyness phase, things were quite different. 

I remember when my parents would push me to make new friends. 

They treat my Introvertedness as something bad. I don't know your opinion, but It's okay to be yourself.

Over the years while reflecting on the topic of Introversion-Extroversion. I realized I was not Introverted but an ambivert. 

Nonetheless, I tend more towards being an introvert (Though my wife thinks I am a full-blown extrovert.)

Today, Let's look at what does it mean to be an introvert and How does it differ from an extrovert.

What is an Introvert?

via GIPHY

According to the Dictionary, It means a Shy, reticent person.

It's understandable how it can seem quite out of place for some to be one. But think about it, if there are 2 introverts for every 5 people. 

We are speaking about a lot of them (This is not a verified figure, I am using this figure to drive a point). 

Imagine there are billions of people, and that all are somehow deficient. The reason because they are not very sociable or whatever.

It is plain stupid. According to Introvert Retreat, 25% of the U.S. population are introverts. They say that other studies say that it is about 50% of the population.

So if you are an introvert, You are fine and it's normal. There is nothing to sweat about.

An Introvert is not shy (Though some could be)

Interesting Video on Shyness vs Introversion

Yes, Whatever the definition may be, all Introverts are not shy. 

I have had friends who were comfortable not being too sociable. They preferred more close friends and deeper conversations. 

But they were far from being shy.

So Thinking to be an Introvert is to be shy is not true. Shyness is not introversion, and I would like to speak about that in the future.

Homebound by choice

Being yourself is an underrated superpower!

— Gumroad (@gumroad) July 17, 2020

Being Introverted does not mean staying at home all the time.

There could be other reasons for that. 

I would love to move around but at the same time be comfortable with myself being with no one. 

 I did not feel alone or anything. 

In my mind, it was more time for thoughtful reflection and enjoying the moment in my own kind of way.

Boring

View this post on Instagram

It's great to be you. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert good ideas are not related to being a great talker. I would extend the idea to even having a degree etc. Though these skills or degrees are important, they are not necessary. #susancainquotes #introvert #lifeisgood #lifeskills #chriseducator

A post shared by Christopher Dias (@officialchriseducator) on Jul 17, 2020 at 8:17am PDT

 

People have their definitions or criteria for what they enjoy.

It's personal and generalizing it is a problem. I enjoy debates and love reading books. 

For another person, this may not be stimulating. To me that is fine. Each one can have their own idea of what fun is. 

There are no celestial commandments of fun.

So are there any advantages to being an Introvert?

Never assume quiet is weak and loud is strong - Anonymous

 

It's pretty obvious there are advantages. Some may not want to reflect on the benefits of Introversion.

For Starters, Introverts have more time to pursue ideas and thoughts. 

They couple it with reflection and deep thinking. This has its advantages.

Another benefit could be Reasoning and being deliberate before making a decision. 

This could help them make thoughtful and strategic decisions.

Last but not the least, They can give a good listening hear. Probably proper guidance too. This could really great.

Conclusion

There is a lot more I could say about Introversion. But I think as Humans we generalize to help us make sense of People and concepts.

But each person is unique and sometimes these generalizations are unfair and stereotypical.

I have included some resources to help you dig deeper into this topic and related ideas.

Do Join our Community by liking my FB page for more ideas and updates.

Do share your feedback and comments!

Further Reading

Using EQ to build self and others

Emotional Quotient is very important. It can be decisive to a better career and relationships too.

In the previous post, I discussed What is EQ and some tools to building a Strong EQ.

In this blog, I want to discuss some important pointers about EQ that we must keep in mind. 

This will help us use EQ in our personal lives and may be at work too.

Technical Skills vs EQ

Education and work stresses require more than just technical skills. To think about it we need much more than just doing our jobs. 

I have seen students who are more confident and self assured get good placements. Later on succeed and get good positions in their organisation that they are working with.

It all comes down the realisation that technical skills is what is the basic need for a position. It is an important aspect of our performance in a job. 

But to lead we need to guide people and move into areas that we may not be familiar.

I would like to stress on some aspects of EQ that are important. I will be sharing about EQ from the point of view of Life and work in general.

Important Aspects of EQ

Using EQ to understand ourselves

Understanding others by understanding Self

In our professional life or may be personal life, we find it important to understand people we live and interact with.

Understanding others can start with a better relationship with oneself.

It simply means understanding our responses and interactions with others and in different situations.

Spending time alone enables us to better manage our emotions and recover from stress.https://t.co/wcmiUKpsZp

— Daniel Goleman (@DanielGolemanEI) December 16, 2019

Using EQ to succeed in our careers and relationships

Better EQ better career

One thing I find common between careers and relationships is that we need to understand others and oneself to succeed.

Put oneself in other people's shoes is just not something that is obvious, but much needed. 

A Lot of these ideas would seem sensible to alot of us, but using our empathy effectively requires intent and action.

EQ thus helps us respond to different situations and events that may bring problems to its resolution or issues to its solution.

These solutions don't need to perfect, but when we understand our own emotions and those of others we are in more fruitful situation to act and respond.

“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.” — Cicero
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating today.

— Daniel Goleman (@DanielGolemanEI) November 28, 2019

Building our EQ to lead

Leadership is not domination

Leadership doesn't need to come with a position, but I think it also requires strong vision and abilities.

One such powerful tool we have is EQ. EQ helps us understand ourselves and others.

It can be used to uplift self and others. This can be a powerful strategy in building our communities and businesses.

Building relationships among a remote team can increase well-being and help team members feel more connected.https://t.co/86QDpIzYDd

— Daniel Goleman (@DanielGolemanEI) December 5, 2019

Daniel Goleman on improving your EQ

Conclusion

Using our Emotions and utilising the emotions of others can help us succeed in our jobs and relationships too. 

Life is a journey that teaches us a lot of things that we can learn from and use.