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Recommended Reads on Life Hacks that are awesome and some of my favourite ones too

October 23, 2020

Image by Dariusz Sankowski from Pixabay


Friendship is a wonderful thing. It is a joyous consolation to have close and valuable friends.

For some of us, Books can be those friends. They guide us and are there for us. It is great to have them as companions.

I have often heard Motivational speakers encourage people to have good mentors.

Some of us may have chosen books or other resources to mentor and guide us.

Books are not static

Words are lively and dynamic


I do not consider books to a static collection of words stuck to a page.

I believe they are lively and dynamic.

As much we read them, they show us a lot of things about ourselves.

I would like to share with some of the books on Life that have been a joy to read.

I list only 5 books, it is not a comprehensive book list.

5 Books on Life Skills I love:

Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill

Learn Powerful & Timeless insights

This one of my favourite books.

First I came across this book, was in my Uncle's library.

The title of the book was very Catchy.

But reading the book helped me understand the meaning of Thinking and Becoming Rich.

I must say I wish I did apply what I read.

So I reread it, But in an audio format.

The Power of positive thinking by Norman Vincent Peale

Positive and Powerful Thinking

This is another impactful book.

As a person, I like to be as realistic as possible.

The idea of positive thinking was something I found quite stupid until I read the book.

I was recommended to the book by one of Church counsellor.

I bought and read a copy of it. I was in my undergraduate studies then.

It was years back. I love this book because it had techniques that not only helped me improve my attitude, but it made my prayer life more interesting.

(I do not pray very often)

The Millionaire Fastlane by MJ De Marco

Learn how to take the Fastlane to Success

I came across this book on Instagram.

I did not make a million dollars after reading it, nor did the author promise I would.

But its an awesome book, MJ De Marco really brings out the importance of a side hustle.

He shows exactly how creating a business can impact one's life and others.

It's a no-bullshit book. I loved this book very much.

The Roadless Travelled by M. Scott Peck

Change your Perspective

I read this book when I was having some serious personal issues.

It showed a different perspective on life and religion.

I must say as someone who was a seeker for years, Religion has not been a kind experience. This book has really helped me in this area too.

Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki

Understanding Money

He is one of my favourites. I have heard people criticise him, I think people have their share of critics.

But this book really helped me appreciate the power of Management and Entrepreneurship.

Understanding the meaning and value of time and the right place for passion.

I have read a couple of books besides this book by Mr Kiyosaki. It's a quick read and really informative.

In Conclusion

Yes, this is not a review of these books, But as a reader, I want to share how these books have helped me.

It is really useful to share ideas and also read insights from people who are more experienced and smarter.

Please do mention on my FB Page if you would like me to review any of the books on the list I shared.

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How seeking Clarity can help you be more productive? 5 Anchors to keep you grounded

September 10, 2020
Seek Clarity when you are Confused

We all love achieving our goals and dreams. Whether these dreams relate to our Professional or Personal lives. There is a lot of motivation to take huge action. 

To begin with a Plan and to work on it. But one would wonder why we don't always achieve them. 

We take Massive Action, we visualise and yes most of understand that we may have to adapt and improvise along the way.

So how can we move ahead? This may be a confusing experience. It may leave us sad and anxious even.

Like all of us, I have had my share of not achieving some of my dreams. It can be painful. 

But I think we must seek in moments this very important thing. We must seek 'Clarity'. 

Some of the problems we encounter are due to changing situations. We may not be sure how to move ahead.

Clarity means getting down to the basics. It means trying to understand the reasons rather than the outcomes behind your actions.

Results matter, but good motivation and vision matter more. According to the way I see it, Clarity is understanding the relevance of what we are trying to achieve in New situations.

I have collated some anchors that can keep us grounded when times seem confusing.

5 Anchors to keep you Grounded.

During the confusing situations in my experience, the mind can react differently to different people. For me, it is interesting sometimes and sometimes it is like ...' Why God, Why!!'

But I found some practices that help and it keeps me focused...I have listed 5 of them.

What are you seeking?

Visions are not just for companies. You could have one too. 

It does not need to be professional and huge. You can keep it Tweet sized, as long as it helps remember what you want to achieve for yourself and others.

I believe include others in your vision to keep it more relevant and realistic without sacrificing the Audacious part.

This Vision is going to help you remember and focus when you lack clarity. We can use our Vision for our projects as a guiding light.

Have you decided on your Destination or Target?

If you are finding your visions to be abstract. It is not a problem, having a target could help you.

Target or we could call them goals help you chart your way to achieving your vision. 

If you do not have targets we do not know to focus on. Focus is where the magic happens.

A singular focus on Goals can be rewarding. So keeping in mind your vision, create targets.

If you are stuck or not achieving these goals, it just means you have to find better goals or strategize better.

Breaking your Goals

One of the other reason that we may not achieve something can also be that we are not organised.

Discipline helps us get more organized. We can organize our efforts by breaking our goals into actual workable plans.

Massive action needs proper planning. As someone with a background in both IT and Management, I can't stress enough the benefits of planning.

Understanding what is required to achieve our Goals can be a starting point. Getting a mentor or friend to listen to what we have planned to achieve.

Giving Flesh to your Strategy

Massive Action is only part of achieving our goals. Plans must include strategies that would help you get closer to success.

Include small tasks in your plans. This will give us something to work with. So if you are (an example) Dieting keeping a diary and recording what you eat could be a Tactic. 

Strategic Thinking can keep us be more agile and clear. Things don't go the way we plan. But we can always prepare for change.

Losing The War, Winning the Battle

 Just remember your victories and successes. You will remember the sacrifices you have taken. 

I think sometimes it is a part of achieving something worthwhile. But there are moments when we give our best and things work differently.

This can leave us confused. Should we try harder or just let it slip?

I think this is Where Clarity makes a difference. Exiting a project should be a possibility.

I know it is human nature not to give up. But sometimes it is okay to lose some battles to win the game.

There are some decisions we need to make after pondering on them or probably speaking with someone we trust. Continuing a project or leaving one should be a well thought out decision.

In Conclusion

Life and key decisions can confuse us, It is one thing to be confident. But it is quite another thing to deal with consequences. 

Gaining clarity and keeping ourselves grounded will not do away with every consequence of our decisions. But it will remind us of the point where we started this journey.

'Why' is quite a powerful question to motivate us to achieve our goals and achieve the successes we seek.

Thank you for reading this blog, I hope it got you thinking about the importance of Clarity. 

Do share this blog and like my Facebook Page. Ciao!


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Fear of failing and 3 Insightful Ideas to get through difficult times

July 25, 2020

Ponder Points- insights by Chris Educator

Dark Night of the Soul: 3 Insightful Ideas to get through it


Life for most of us can be normal most of the time. There are phases of being elated and some painful episodes thrown in between.

These Painful periods can come all of a sudden or can pull us gradually into it. It can be induced as a kind of discipline by ascetically motivated (I imagine...Dan Brown-style...Self Flagellating, Lol)

via GIPHY


It's often called the Dark Night of the soul. A Period where everything seems confusing and topsy turvy. It can feel like your joys are just pulled away from you.

It's a pretty crappy phase. But it can teach one a lot. If this describes what's happening, Believe me, it would feel like no understands you and you are like the only person who has gone through it.

But it's not at all like that, It's happened to me once. It's a long story and I don't think this is the right medium to express those experiences. In my head (at least), I think it could easily fill a book.

What People say about it

The concept is derived from a 16th Century Mystic, St. John of the Cross. He was a Catholic Saint and he wrote about the experience in a poem.

Going through so many quotes it's amazing how the experience is common and at the same time transformative.

For me, it was like a Job (a Biblical character) like experience. The common thread is pain and transformation.

I wanted to quote some people here, But no. I will be sharing links to other articles. I think it would be like reinventing the wheel.

The idea is to inform you and help. I have been there and it can feel really lonely. Here are some interesting articles.

Article No. 1

The Dark Night of the Soul: Understanding Amidst the Absence of Meaning by Joshua Press.

In article, Joshua shares beautiful quotes on Dark Night of the Soul (DNTS). He shares interesting points and the transformative experience of it.

It's an article that can get you to understand the topic deeper and from a different perspective.

Article No. 2

18 Signs You’re Experiencing A Dark Night Of The Soul, Otherwise Known As an Existential Crisis by Brianna Wiest.

This article speaks on the way to identify if you are going through it. 

She covers a list of points that would help you identify DNTS in your life or situation.

Article No.3 (Not exactly an Article, But a Wiki)

Dark Night of the Soul by Wikipedia

This wiki covers various aspects of DNTS and it is quite informative.

There could be more resources but I think this would give us a good way to explore the topic a bit more. 

Why I think it's an Opportunity

Looking back, I think it was actually an opportunity. I realized the freedom I had in myself. 

I saw the Bullshit all around, all the things that were actually tying me down and pull me under its weight.

Maybe sometimes things are allowed to happen to us to free us (I am sure many people may not like what I am saying).

Sometimes rebooting and starting over may not be a bad thing. It could be for the good. 

We can use our insights and troubles to benefit.

Clichéd but we could actually Transform our Mess into a Message.

Some Pointers

3 R's


via GIPHY

So what is 3R? Its a song heard from my daughter. Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle.
 

Yes, 😂 You heard it right. In real life, we must recycle the crap we face and transform it into something useful.

Just because something is garbage, it does not logically ( and Experientially) follow that discarding it (Experiences, Relations, or maybe our Painful experiences) is the only option.

Yes, It is easier said than done. But it is a Transformative Experience. Dying and came back to a 'New life' is a theme we see in nature and religion, It is not without wisdom.

So We must Reduce toxic thoughts/people, Reuse our time and thoughts to move beyond ourselves, and Recycle our crappy phases to our benefit.

Self Caring is not selfish. You can help others only when you are there.

Delay Decision Making


Don't rush making important decisions


When we are not in a proper zone Mentally I wonder how wise it is to make a decision.

Think about it, it is not. Rational and well thought of decisions can go bad ( Due unknown factors )

So imagine making Life-changing decisions when things are very different from normal.

I heard this advice from a Preacher John Mac Arthur ( I don't agree with all that he says, But Good advice is good)

When you are going through the Dark Night of the soul mode, it can really screw with your head.

See-through the Illusion


via GIPHY

Sometimes when things are difficult or we are trying to solve problems sticking to only one perspective can be binding and many can be confusing.

This power idea caught my attention. The idea that when we are in difficult moments we only tend to evaluate our past through dark lenses.

We paint everything bad and gloomy. Maybe we need to see things from another perspective.

May be like an illusion careful analysis and wisdom would be required to understand things. I believe our situations are no different.

Conclusion

DNTS can be difficult, but it should encourage you that many people have shared the same experience.

They have used situations like this to transform themselves. It's human and normal to have experiences like these. 

If you find it overburdensome, share your experiences with a friend or a professional counselor.

I hope this article was interesting and has helped you. Do share this article and give me your feedback about my thoughts/opinions and how you find my website.

Catch you in the next post. 

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EQ, 3 Important Benefits, Key tools and having a strong Emotional Quotient as an Important Life Skills

May 23, 2020

Importance of Emotional Quotient and Benefits of working on it

As an Educator, I have seen Parents really sweat about their children not performing. I think it is important to perform well in exams and in academics in general. But I really appreciate that over the years a lot of students have been encouraged to also focus on building themselves as individuals.

Simple Skills like Listening and Expressing oneself is so Important. A healthy and vibrant education system should also work on building the emotional Life of a person. Working on building ones EQ is as important as IQ.

As an Introvert or to be precise as an Introvert who does seem like one, The concept of Emotional Quotient can be a very useful tool in understanding oneself and others. It helps one see the importance of Feelings and subjective thinking in the way we understand life, concepts and also ourselves.

What is EQ?

Understanding ourselves and others

Understanding ourselves and others


As a student of Management and Psychology, I would like to explore the concept of EQ. Emotional Quotient is a concept I learnt when I read a book by Daniel Goleman by the same name. My Uncle introduced me to this concept and Its quite a powerful tool.

A textbook definition of Emotional Quotient reads as "It is the ability to be in control emotions of oneself, others or a group". So as the definition suggests it can help you understand yourself and others. Like any ability practice and good understanding of the related concepts and exercises will help you get a better grasp on it. 

Let me share an experience of how EQ helped me, I pursued an MBA as I was interested in understanding how big and impossible tasks could be managed very successfully and seemingly easily. 

It really motivated me to pursue management as a subject. But I understood that besides understanding Management and related topics, I needed to express myself. The introvertedness was not the problem, Though I thought it was.

I needed to present myself and do public speaking. This really made me scared. After reflecting on the problem I understood that rather than introvertedness, it was shyness that was the issue. 

I began to see that I never knew of techniques and methods to deliver a good speech. Some people had these abilities naturally, for me it was not a part of my mental make. To make a long story short I had to learn Public speaking and really enjoyed my MBA.

Sometimes we don't realise that understanding ourselves can also help us in dealing with issues and it also helps us in helping others.

Emotional Quotient or even building your Intelligence requires constant working. So do grab the Book by Daniel Goleman  (Not an Affiliate Link...I don't earn anything on this link) on this topic for a thorough study on the topic.

But to share in brief some quick ideas on EQ, Some important components of EQ would be Self awareness, Self Management, Social awareness and Relationship management.

Self Awareness would be trying to understand one's thinking and moods.

Self management would be recognising your own emotions and how they affect others.

Social Awareness as the name suggest will focus on how we build rapport with others. So that would mean things like understanding others, learning to be socially comfortable etc.

Lastly Relationship Management will deal with building good relationships. This has many personal and work related applications.

As you can see this is a really powerful concept. Now let's jump into why this matters and how this is going to help you. Before I continue I am not getting any Affiliate Mullah or Money for promoting this book. It's just that the book is really useful.

The Benefits

Benefits of EQ

Benefits of EQ


I noticed some benefits to practicing Emotional Intelligence. It helped me connect with people. I was able to connect better with people around me. 

Besides these benefits there are more benefits to practicing EQ. A better EQ helps us understand others and helps us motivate ourselves and others as well. A lot of companies prefer employees with better EQ.

EQ also contributes to better Stress and Mental Health Management. This impacts our personal and work lives. 

Now let us look at some key tools to a Strong EQ.

Key Tools for building a Strong EQ

FEAR

FEAR- False Expectations Appearing Real


Some of the tools that helps build a Strong EQ are as follows:

Practice Mindfulness: It is making a habit of being present in the current moment. It's about not getting lost in the past or the present. It's about being still and knowing the present moment.

Communication: Communication is a very powerful tool. Communication is more than expressing our thoughts, it's also about expressing ourselves. Most of our Communication is much more than words. It also means listening to others and their body language. This helps us relate with them and understand much more than words that they are saying.

Laugh a bit: Life has its ups and downs. Laughing at life is not only delightful but it also lightens up situations. It also helps see the lighter side of life.

Right Attitude:  Life is difficult, but the right attitude make us brave. It helps us deal with situations that appear. I loved the full form I heard from a sermon by Rev. Joyce Meyer, F.E.A.R. is False Expectations Appearing Real. Fear can distort our reality. When it's coupled with wrong attitudes can prove ineffective in solving problems.

Conclusion

via GIPHY

So building our Emotional Quotient is as important as working on our IQ. We must encourage healthy emotional and mental habits in ourselves and other.

Change your mind, Change your life. In the next article, I will be looking at some important aspects of EQ. Catch you in the next post, Ciao!

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Staying at Home and ideas to kill boredom and make the best of your time

March 18, 2020

Life beyond Boredom

I don't mind living like a hermit for a long time. Just stuck at home. But for a lot of us it can be a challenge 😂. So how do we deal with this predicament as it can be boring and challenging for some of us.

Besides praying for the safety of our loved ones and ourselves included, this can be a great time to reflect on the things that can enhance our lives

I thought of some ideas to kill boredom and do something interesting.

Here are some ideas you could use:


Practicing Resourcefulness



  • Create a Blog
  • Learn video editing
  • Create your first Vlog
  • Watch some interesting TED talk videos
  • Write a business plan
  • Do some free courses online
  • Try some of the D.I.Y. recipes you see on Facebook
  • Pick up some culinary skills
  • Review videos on YouTube and post them
  • Share my articles & like my Facebook Page
  • Give positive feedback to people who made a difference in your life
  • Stay at home and meditate
  • Read books on Investments and Entrepreneurship
  • Play Indoor Games
  • Doodle and post them on Instagram
  • Clean your cupboards and tidy up your room
  • Do Binge watching (YouTube & Netflix)
  • Catch up on some conspiracy theories
  • Yoga
  • Listen to Music
  • Explore Reddit


To sum it up live the moment and Enjoy the Now. 

Update: Please be safe and practice social distancing. 

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Why preparing the context matters in Life and words?

January 30, 2020

Context and Backstory matter in communication and Life

Context and Backstory matter in communication and Life


In an argument, Have you had the feeling that you have been misunderstood?

Do you feel like you have been misrepresented? The reason is all about context and perspective (in most cases).

I would like to speak about context. A good communicator is the one who gets his message across effectively.

The effectiveness of good communication can be different for different people. But primarily it is about getting the message across.

When we are communicating and people misunderstand us it could be for many reasons, but setting the context is an important part of Effective Communication.

Context is important in Communication


So whether you are listening to someone or responding to someone, to understand them better we must get the context right.

So Besides being loud and clear in your speech and words, set the context right to communicate better.


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Ponder Point - The Reason why Life experiences are essential

December 12, 2019

Dogma cannot compensate for real-life experiences




Life and Dogma

I just came across this quote from Steve Jobs, " Don't be trapped by Dogma...". This got me thinking about Dogma from a Religious sphere and personal growth related sphere they were the same and different both at the same time. In the Religious sphere ( I am referring to Christianity, that is my belief system), it is based on God-given revelation, so logically it cannot be contradicted as God ( All perfect being is revealing it), but the dogmas that we carry about things in our lives or we may say related to personal growth are not revelation and therefore can be replaced. 


Your own experience matters

We may come up with better ideas and ways of looking at things. Sometimes we can get so caught up in other People's experiences that we can hold our selves back from experiencing it ourselves. So like in Religion we need to build our own reservoir of personal experience and learning to grow. We must build ourselves by daily succeeding or failing.


Being Guru or Sophist


Some days ago I was watching a video critiquing a major Internet guru. I won't name him, because I do respect him and I learned a lot of ideas from him. People say he is a scam because his courses are exorbitant and they do not produce the result as they imagined it. This kind of criticism really makes me think whether skills and growth are achieved only in a day, a year or a couple of months.

It is so easy to speak badly about people, but the fact is that Personal growth is a Personal Responsibility.


Importance of Trying

I believe like anything it requires constant learning, application and course correction to achieve positive results.

Imagine if you are learning acting professionally and expect to become a thorough actor overnight it is senseless. Of course, there are prodigies, but the rule for the rest of us is to constantly work at ourselves and learn more so that we can move further down the road to self-development.


The relevance of Healthy criticism

I would like to say that criticism is essential but also healthy appreciation can go a long way. There are a lot of wolves in sheep's clothing ( Fake gurus or Charlatans ) and we must practice critical thinking, but not applying what you learn and not keeping healthy expectations is not healthy and not realistic as well.


In Short

Be Real, Keep Learning and Try it out, If it works for you try to get better at it.

Keep checking this space for more articles. Do join our community on Facebook and share this insight with a friend.

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One Major Reason why you don't like your job: How enjoying your work can increase your Brand value?

November 03, 2019
Photo by Rebrand Cities from Pexels



My love for Theater and Drama

Theater and drama have always been my passion. Years back when Orkut was a thing I joined a Theatre group. I met this guy online and he was very passionate about drama and cinema. So I got in touch with him. He informed me, he was starting a drama club. I met this group of theater enthusiasts. 

We all shared the same passion and more importantly we all valued cinema and drama. We would read scripts together and also do drama. We did a couple of plays at various corporate events and also organized our own Theater play. It was simply amazing. 

So Why am I tell you all this? Its to share an important decision I had to make. The decision of leaving this wonderful drama club. They were going to be different by taking a new route and at that juncture in my journey towards learning more about drama, I felt that I wanted something different for myself. 

So I left and informed that the reason why I could not continue and be a part of their group. My values and vision had changed.

Keeping the important things important

So I joined another theater group, I would practice and watch plays every weekend. The fun continued. What I realized from the entire experience is the importance of aligning work and values. I valued learning and did not want to compromise it.

 My values were like pillars supporting my ultimate goal. I wanted to be a better communicator and educator. It really helped me develop myself and my skillset. A lot of times we don't enjoy our work and this could be for various reasons. I believe one strong reason could be a lack of alignment between goals, values and the work you are doing.

 So aligning them can bring a lot of changes and it can also help you leave a mark not only on your work but also on others.

Enthusiasm and Being an awesome Influencer

During my stint as an Executive with various companies, I loved the experience of working in teams. I shared the same joy in Academics. 

It was amazing to see students succeed in their events, project and other endeavors. I believe it was that shared enthusiasm and values that helped them succeed. Some of the students would become really popular without even trying. 

They were able to lead and influence a lot of team members and colleagues. The way they worked and presented themselves as one of the reasons they had a successful image. 

Importance of Personal Branding to your job

In the day and age of Social Network, Personal image can play a vital role. Presentation of self and our opinions do matter. To think that it doesn't, wouldn't be wise. So I believe it all starts with ourselves. The way we present ourselves depends a lot on our values and how passionate we are about the things that we work and live for.

If we do not enjoy our work, it shows. You may be paid the same, but you could be affecting other things like Personal Brand value. Two questions come to mind when we hear about Personal Branding. 

What is it?
Is it important?

Personal Branding is the practice of using branding and marketing for a person and not for a product or service or business. So let me first explain branding and how it is different from marketing before getting into using it for a person or self. 

Brand refers to the symbol, name, term or design that identifies one product from all other products. So Branding would be the process of creating a brand. 

On the other hand, Marketing involves satisfying customers' wants profitably. So these techniques when applied to ourselves properly can help us grow in our careers. It can help us explore ourselves effectively.

How big Brands influence and how to model them?

One important thing about brands is that they promise something and they deliver them quickly and effectively. They do so through careful planning and execution. So the question is how can we do the same? How can we brand ourselves? 

As employees, we make promises at our workplace. It is important to keep those promises. This can be the first step. We must stand for something, some we must deliver on words quickly. This should not only reflect in our words, but also in our work.

Big brands take measured steps and tie metrics to judge their effectiveness. We should set standards for ourselves as professionals. 

There is a whole lot of steps involved but what guides and keeps the flame of passion for good work going. It is our values and yes, our vision. Focus cannot come without a goal or a vision. One cannot achieve their vision or goals without having the values and passion to carry one through the tough times and difficult situations.

One simple mantra for enjoying your work and leaving a mark is to stick to your values and deliver on your words. Let values build and help to burn the flames of passionate work. Leave a mark by keeping your promises.

Falling for anything

This reminds of a cliche that goes like this, "If You Don’t Stand for Something, You’ll Fall for Anything." When you stand for anything you won't be easily remembered. 

Most of the icons we look up to, may it be technology, religion, politics or culture, they all stood for something. They lived their message and mostly delivered them. Its time to do the same and standout.

Some simple ways to Building a Personal Brand at your workplace

  • Promise and deliver
  • Plan and measure the execution of your plan
  • Let your goals and visions drive your promises
  • Use your values effectively
I hope this article got you thinking, does help you and get you thinking. Do leave a comment and share this article.

Further Reading

Personal Branding Tips
Personal branding in the workplace
Wiki on Personal Branding

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Ponder Point - The Cost of Being too Nice

September 26, 2019

The Cost of Being too Nice


Difficulties of Being Too Nice

Photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels

I was just speaking to a Customer Service Executive the other day, the person was hardly audible.

I assume he was just shy or maybe not trying to shout on the microphone. But I wasn't able to hear him, He wasn't audible. I didn't want to shout him down and kill his confidence.

 I pursued the conversation. I was terminating their service and they wanted references. Now imagine, doing a referral call and not firmly asking the customer for referrals. It's a pretty awkward situation, I was able to empathize with him.

 A lot of time it is wrong ideas and our perception that hold us back from self-actualization.

So I decided to help him out. I got my headset plugged it into my mobile phone and spoke to him.

I encouraged him to get close to the microphone on his headset and request clearly. I didn't end up giving him referrals, but I helped him speak clearly. I spared myself the guilt of not helping a learner.

The 24/7 Educator

Teaching, Mentoring & Building People


As an Educator, We have to push ourselves to go beyond being nice and try exploring avenues to guide people. For me, everybody is in sales, and philosophy and in business. 

Not being nice, doesn't mean being ruthless. So when you philosophise it's okay to not be nice and share the truth of your message. But being ruthless is not the other option. 

We can learn to use our words and gestures carefully, we can choose to build people.

It's a different matter if you find people unworthy and ungrateful. 

Practice Gratefulness whenever necessary and without expectations.

In Short, Be Nice.

So let us look at some of the Negatives of being too Nice 

Check out this article on

How to write a Gratitude Journal?


Negatives of being too Nice 

Negatives of Being Too Nice: Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

1. Less Valued:

It's right to be Nice and a lot of us have been brought up to be kind and thoughtful of others. But we have also been taught to speak our minds and stand for what is right. 

Conveniently ignoring the latter and only pursuing the former selectively is hypocritical. 

That's a problem, In the pursuit of Pleasing others we forget some of our values. 

Quite interesting, How we can be selective in being nice. We mostly overlook this aspect.

2. People won't be there for you:

Situational Outcast

Expecting everyone to be like you and share the same values is perceiving the world incorrectly. 

Of course, As humans, we do share a lot in common.

People have different values, worldviews, and ethical systems. Just being agreeable and too nice is overlooking a lot. It's okay to disagree and if people don't share your values, it's fine. 

Some people may not reciprocate the same goodness and this is where being very nice gets you into a lot of trouble. 

We start expecting others to be the same, and they may not think it important to help you (when you need them). 

So it is important to have relationships but they should be ones where we allow mutual benefit and self-growth to thrive. 

We should avoid toxic relationships, where we are just sponged on and taken advantage of.

3. Impossibility of pleasing everybody

Let's imagine the idea of pleasing everybody, It's so daunting. 

My Goodness think about it, you have to please everybody you know and imagine what a waste of time. (You would be surprised, just how many take you for granted or don't even acknowledge the goodness)

An additional negative aspect of this is that we don't leave open the opportunity for people to move ahead. 

It obligates them (Some may perceive) because we have more chips of goodness over them.

4. Lack of Assertiveness & its ill effects

A very important thing to realize is that maybe we are not that assertive. 

So it can be a great opportunity to realize that and practice assertiveness. We can also start building healthy friendships.

5. Wrong Perception of the World

Lastly, I believe it stems from a wrong perception of things especially the world around us. 

As we have seen, earlier people have different values and agenda, being nice to everybody may not be the best strategy. So we need something better and healthier. 

So the next question that comes to our minds is 'What to do next?'

But before we go ahead on being Truly nice. Let us consider some disadvantages, quickly.

Some Disadvantages of Being Too Nice

Disadvantages of Being Nice: Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

1. Losing Social Capital

It's less beneficial as the individual does not take healthy advantage of his / her efforts of caring for others. Thus reducing his social capital.

2. Losing the Benefits of Being Assertive

Being Assertive has its benefits, For example, We have the benefit of refusing choices that we don't want to pursue. This helps in increasing our confidence and also indirectly building our public image.

3. Lowering your Personal Brand Value

People tend to perceive us badly, Personal Branding like branding is all about perception. Being overly Nice rather than genuine and assertive can hamper one's reputation and thus lower one's Brand Value.

4. Lacking the ability to provide genuine help

Lastly, It prevents healthy and genuine help. Thus making helping others only becomes a matter of gaining brownie points.

Let's See how to stop being Nice and Be Genuine

Being Genuine: Image by Caique Silva Fotografo from Pixabay 

Understanding your identity

Identity plays a key role in how we view ourselves and understand others. We need to look at ourselves and understand that the external me is not the person inside. 

We need to see and understand who we are and what we are doing. We need to understand our values and know ourselves better. 

This will give us a better ground to build self-confidence and take steps boldly, Confident in ourselves and our values.

Building your EQ

It is a very good thing that modern education in schools makes an effort to build a person's emotional life. 

We must not fool ourselves into thinking that it is only our knowledge or expertise that makes us who we are. I believe it is much more than that. 

We are much more than who we think we are. Our emotions and emotional life matter, so do that of the people around us.

But just pandering to people and trying to please everybody is tragic, strategically and personally. It completely lacks wisdom.

Cultivating Healthy Friendships

Healthy & Positive Friendships

In this day of Social Media, we think a longer friend list matters. I must tell it is far from being true. I am not saying don't connect with old acquaintances and good old friends.

 But I think it is wise to invest in a healthy support system of a limited number of friends and extended family members.

I believe rather than pleasing everybody, It is okay to piss some people off.

Joy of Assertiveness

I came across this idea of being assertive during my Graduate day. A friend of mine had shared with me a book on Assertiveness. Ever since then, I have been practicing it. It is very magical. 

As an Educator, It would be rather difficult to please than everybody (all the time). Imagine the joy of setting rules that can create a learning environment and a rapt audience in your classroom ( It's simply priceless). 

As an Educator, it is essential to set certain rules or a framework for discipline. Assertiveness helps in building a culture of learning in the classroom. It is also very effective in personal life too. 

Does it irritate some people,? You bet it does. But as I said it earlier, it joyfully fine. :)

Purpose of True Niceness

The purpose of being Truly Nice is to be genuine and build yourself while helping others. This I think is the basic purpose of being Genuinely nice.

Concluding Thoughts

As an Educator and a student of Self Growth, I believe it is wise to be genuine and assertive. It pays to invest in friends and family that understand and value you. Seeking popularity to replace genuine relationships can often be an empty pursuit.

Wish you Happy Learning and meet you in the next Blog Post. Ciao!

Further Reading

Personal Identity: A Quiz with an informative article on Personal Identity

Importance of Daily Efforts: A Quote on the importance of Daily Steps

What is Emotional Intelligence?



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Ponder Points - Being Prepared

August 09, 2019
Being Prepared


Opportunities & Difficulties

Being an Entrepreneur and working for self can be such a blessing. But Let me tell you, It has its own difficulties. Life is always filled with possibilities ( Check this article I wrote on Choices), like Napolean Hill would say that it is our lack of self-confidence that holds us back, but I would say that it is also not being prepared.

So how does one be prepared, I would say self preparedness starts with a healthy self-evaluation.


Finding your Strengths

One of the basic things that we learn in Management is a SWOT analysis. It is a topic taught under the subject of Strategic Management ( Quite an interesting topic). So basically, starts out with understanding their Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. This is quite a good starting point, Understanding yourself or your organization. 

Spiritual Masters had their own version of it, but this happened for spiritual growth. They would evaluate their entire day and pray for people. The same can be applied or practiced, by taking a personal inventory of our entire day. Ultimately, Time is one of the greatest assets we have.

So then what next, 


How to decide your Mission? The Guy Kawasaki Way

Set a mission... and how Guy Kawasaki would do it. Set a mantra

Mantras are much more effective. Mantras summarise all that you want to do and achieve. It can be very effective as it would constantly remind us of our purpose.

Check this Youtube video, He shares with startups on the importance of having a mantra.





These techniques can also be used for our personal growth too.


Keeping a Plan B

What can be a Plan B? For an Entrepreneur, it can be another income source or leveraging a network. A Plan B can be also pursued as a hobby, It does not need to occupy all your time. 

It can be some that you love doing and are passionate about. And yes it should pay you something. Being resourceful and taking small steps can be really helpful.


Deliberately Being Prepared in 3 Simple Steps

So let us summarise some ideas on Being Prepared

  1. Understand yourself
  2. Have a Mantra
  3. What's your Plan B

Here is an interesting quote on Preparedness:


Power Quote by Louis Pasteur

Some Recommended Books: Books to keep you Prepared

Learn how to make your own plan B, I would recommend a wonderful book to help you kickstart a part-time gig or even a full-time career, it's The $100 Startup: Fire Your Boss, Do What You Love and Work Better To Live More by Chris Guillebeau and Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill. These books can really help you start, build and pursue your goals.

These links are Amazon Affiliate links, please do check the disclosure page.

So Be Prepared and Have a wonderful day! Please do Comment, Like and Share.

Further Readings:

Conduct a Personal SWOT Analysis to Improve Your Career
https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/5543-personal-swot-analysis.html

How to Be Prepared for Anything
https://zenhabits.net/survival-kit/

On Being Prepared
https://www.matthewedgar.net/on-being-prepared/


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