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The Short guide on Understanding Introvertedness: Advantages of Being Introverted and some necessary myth-busting

July 20, 2020

Understanding Introversion and some wrong ideas about it


Introversion is not a disease


I have been comfortable with being me for quite a long time. 

But during my shyness phase, things were quite different. 

I remember when my parents would push me to make new friends. 

They treat my Introvertedness as something bad. I don't know your opinion, but It's okay to be yourself.

Over the years while reflecting on the topic of Introversion-Extroversion. I realized I was not Introverted but an ambivert. 

Nonetheless, I tend more towards being an introvert (Though my wife thinks I am a full-blown extrovert.)

Today, Let's look at what does it mean to be an introvert and How does it differ from an extrovert.


What is an Introvert?

According to the Dictionary, It means a Shy, reticent person.

It's understandable how it can seem quite out of place for some to be one. But think about it, if there are 2 introverts for every 5 people. 

We are speaking about a lot of them (This is not a verified figure, I am using this figure to drive a point). 

Imagine there are billions of people, and that all are somehow deficient. The reason because they are not very sociable or whatever.

It is plain stupid. According to Introvert Retreat, 25% of the U.S. population are introverts. They say that other studies say that it is about 50% of the population.

So if you are an introvert, You are fine and it's normal. There is nothing to sweat about.


An Introvert is not shy (Though some could be)

Interesting Video on Shyness vs Introversion


Yes, Whatever the definition may be, all Introverts are not shy. 

I have had friends who were comfortable not being too sociable. They preferred more close friends and deeper conversations. 

But they were far from being shy.

So Thinking to be an Introvert is to be shy is not true. Shyness is not introversion, and I would like to speak about that in the future.


Homebound by choice

Being Introverted does not mean staying at home all the time.

There could be other reasons for that. 

I would love to move around but at the same time be comfortable with myself being with no one. 

 I did not feel alone or anything. 

In my mind, it was more time for thoughtful reflection and enjoying the moment in my own kind of way.


Boring

People have their definitions or criteria for what they enjoy.

It's personal and generalizing it is a problem. I enjoy debates and love reading books. 

For another person, this may not be stimulating. To me that is fine. Each one can have their own idea of what fun is. 

There are no celestial commandments of fun.


So are there any advantages to being an Introvert?


Never assume quiet is weak and loud is strong - Anonymous
 

It's pretty obvious there are advantages. Some may not want to reflect on the benefits of Introversion.

For Starters, Introverts have more time to pursue ideas and thoughts. 

They couple it with reflection and deep thinking. This has its advantages.

Another benefit could be Reasoning and being deliberate before making a decision. 

This could help them make thoughtful and strategic decisions.

Last but not the least, They can give a good listening hear. Probably proper guidance too. This could really great.


Conclusion

There is a lot more I could say about Introversion. But I think as Humans we generalize to help us make sense of People and concepts.

But each person is unique and sometimes these generalizations are unfair and stereotypical.

I have included some resources to help you dig deeper into this topic and related ideas.

Do Join our Community by liking my FB page for more ideas and updates.

Do share your feedback and comments!


Further Reading

Ponder Point - The Cost of Being too Nice

September 26, 2019

The Cost of Being too Nice


Difficulties of Being Too Nice

Photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels

I was just speaking to a Customer Service Executive the other day, the person was hardly audible.

I assume he was just shy or maybe not trying to shout on the microphone. But I wasn't able to hear him, He wasn't audible. I didn't want to shout him down and kill his confidence.

 I pursued the conversation. I was terminating their service and they wanted references. Now imagine, doing a referral call and not firmly asking the customer for referrals. It's a pretty awkward situation, I was able to empathize with him.

 A lot of time it is wrong ideas and our perception that hold us back from self-actualization.

So I decided to help him out. I got my headset plugged it into my mobile phone and spoke to him.

I encouraged him to get close to the microphone on his headset and request clearly. I didn't end up giving him referrals, but I helped him speak clearly. I spared myself the guilt of not helping a learner.

The 24/7 Educator

Teaching, Mentoring & Building People


As an Educator, We have to push ourselves to go beyond being nice and try exploring avenues to guide people. For me, everybody is in sales, and philosophy and in business. 

Not being nice, doesn't mean being ruthless. So when you philosophise it's okay to not be nice and share the truth of your message. But being ruthless is not the other option. 

We can learn to use our words and gestures carefully, we can choose to build people.

It's a different matter if you find people unworthy and ungrateful. 

Practice Gratefulness whenever necessary and without expectations.

In Short, Be Nice.

So let us look at some of the Negatives of being too Nice 

Check out this article on

How to write a Gratitude Journal?


Negatives of being too Nice 

Negatives of Being Too Nice: Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

1. Less Valued:

It's right to be Nice and a lot of us have been brought up to be kind and thoughtful of others. But we have also been taught to speak our minds and stand for what is right. 

Conveniently ignoring the latter and only pursuing the former selectively is hypocritical. 

That's a problem, In the pursuit of Pleasing others we forget some of our values. 

Quite interesting, How we can be selective in being nice. We mostly overlook this aspect.

2. People won't be there for you:

Situational Outcast

Expecting everyone to be like you and share the same values is perceiving the world incorrectly. 

Of course, As humans, we do share a lot in common.

People have different values, worldviews, and ethical systems. Just being agreeable and too nice is overlooking a lot. It's okay to disagree and if people don't share your values, it's fine. 

Some people may not reciprocate the same goodness and this is where being very nice gets you into a lot of trouble. 

We start expecting others to be the same, and they may not think it important to help you (when you need them). 

So it is important to have relationships but they should be ones where we allow mutual benefit and self-growth to thrive. 

We should avoid toxic relationships, where we are just sponged on and taken advantage of.

3. Impossibility of pleasing everybody

Let's imagine the idea of pleasing everybody, It's so daunting. 

My Goodness think about it, you have to please everybody you know and imagine what a waste of time. (You would be surprised, just how many take you for granted or don't even acknowledge the goodness)

An additional negative aspect of this is that we don't leave open the opportunity for people to move ahead. 

It obligates them (Some may perceive) because we have more chips of goodness over them.

4. Lack of Assertiveness & its ill effects

A very important thing to realize is that maybe we are not that assertive. 

So it can be a great opportunity to realize that and practice assertiveness. We can also start building healthy friendships.

5. Wrong Perception of the World

Lastly, I believe it stems from a wrong perception of things especially the world around us. 

As we have seen, earlier people have different values and agenda, being nice to everybody may not be the best strategy. So we need something better and healthier. 

So the next question that comes to our minds is 'What to do next?'

But before we go ahead on being Truly nice. Let us consider some disadvantages, quickly.

Some Disadvantages of Being Too Nice

Disadvantages of Being Nice: Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

1. Losing Social Capital

It's less beneficial as the individual does not take healthy advantage of his / her efforts of caring for others. Thus reducing his social capital.

2. Losing the Benefits of Being Assertive

Being Assertive has its benefits, For example, We have the benefit of refusing choices that we don't want to pursue. This helps in increasing our confidence and also indirectly building our public image.

3. Lowering your Personal Brand Value

People tend to perceive us badly, Personal Branding like branding is all about perception. Being overly Nice rather than genuine and assertive can hamper one's reputation and thus lower one's Brand Value.

4. Lacking the ability to provide genuine help

Lastly, It prevents healthy and genuine help. Thus making helping others only becomes a matter of gaining brownie points.

Let's See how to stop being Nice and Be Genuine

Being Genuine: Image by Caique Silva Fotografo from Pixabay 

Understanding your identity

Identity plays a key role in how we view ourselves and understand others. We need to look at ourselves and understand that the external me is not the person inside. 

We need to see and understand who we are and what we are doing. We need to understand our values and know ourselves better. 

This will give us a better ground to build self-confidence and take steps boldly, Confident in ourselves and our values.

Building your EQ

It is a very good thing that modern education in schools makes an effort to build a person's emotional life. 

We must not fool ourselves into thinking that it is only our knowledge or expertise that makes us who we are. I believe it is much more than that. 

We are much more than who we think we are. Our emotions and emotional life matter, so do that of the people around us.

But just pandering to people and trying to please everybody is tragic, strategically and personally. It completely lacks wisdom.

Cultivating Healthy Friendships

Healthy & Positive Friendships

In this day of Social Media, we think a longer friend list matters. I must tell it is far from being true. I am not saying don't connect with old acquaintances and good old friends.

 But I think it is wise to invest in a healthy support system of a limited number of friends and extended family members.

I believe rather than pleasing everybody, It is okay to piss some people off.

Joy of Assertiveness

I came across this idea of being assertive during my Graduate day. A friend of mine had shared with me a book on Assertiveness. Ever since then, I have been practicing it. It is very magical. 

As an Educator, It would be rather difficult to please than everybody (all the time). Imagine the joy of setting rules that can create a learning environment and a rapt audience in your classroom ( It's simply priceless). 

As an Educator, it is essential to set certain rules or a framework for discipline. Assertiveness helps in building a culture of learning in the classroom. It is also very effective in personal life too. 

Does it irritate some people,? You bet it does. But as I said it earlier, it joyfully fine. :)

Purpose of True Niceness

The purpose of being Truly Nice is to be genuine and build yourself while helping others. This I think is the basic purpose of being Genuinely nice.

Concluding Thoughts

As an Educator and a student of Self Growth, I believe it is wise to be genuine and assertive. It pays to invest in friends and family that understand and value you. Seeking popularity to replace genuine relationships can often be an empty pursuit.

Wish you Happy Learning and meet you in the next Blog Post. Ciao!

Further Reading

Personal Identity: A Quiz with an informative article on Personal Identity

Importance of Daily Efforts: A Quote on the importance of Daily Steps

What is Emotional Intelligence?



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7 Highly Effective Strategies to a Superb Presentation...Bring out the Motivator in you

May 28, 2019

Prepare yourself with these 7 Strategies to a Highly Effective Presentation


Speeches and Presentations


In India, we have just had a General Election and we have chosen the leader to guide us into the future. One very striking quality of Narendra Modiji, our Prime Minister-elect is that he is a very good orator and politician. He has a well-seasoned personality and captivating side to him, his presentation and thoughts are put forth quite clearly and succinctly.

I believe that a good presentation depends on various factors. They all combine to bring the message to the audience. Of course like anything else, practice and proper feedback will help you master it. That's the thing about skills regular practice and good feedback helps you succeed.

My Personal Experience and Boring Speeches

As an educator, I have been more into teaching young adults and presenting to people from the industry. It was quite an opportunity to deliver training at a School to students of Grade 4. I just used less lingo and adapted the topic to their needs. My delivery was quite similar to what I have been used to. I got good feedback and experience. Let me be clear, I am a good speaker but not the best. I strive every day to be better. Here are 7 highly effective strategies that I have noticed good Speakers use. One thing amazing about good Speeches they not only inform you but also have the ability to move you to action.

So Let me start with some of these powerful but simple ideas.

Use Pointers not paragraphs:

The first pointer for a good presentation is to use pointers and not paragraphs to explain your ideas. So a proper arrangement and planning are required. One should start with a goal and points that you would want an audience to understand. Please keep in mind the aim is not to Impress people but to share an idea or help people understand a concept (whatever it may be).

Every Presentation does not have to be on Powerpoint, it can also be explained using a whiteboard. So don't get fixated on using only one medium. If you're using a whiteboard mention the topic that you are presenting and then enlist the points while you are explaining them. The points must be legible and should be read clearly to the audience.

Tell a captivating story

I have also been through many very boring lectures and talks like anyone else. And to be honest I have delivered some boring ones too...Lol. It feels horrible. But I can tell you that a good story can get a lot of peoples attention and can get many points across. I don't think it is a coincidence that people like Buddha or Jesus used stories that explain complex ideas. So find a story that brings out the issue you are trying to explain.

If you are using a real-life example, try respecting people's privacy. You could change some information that could reveal a person's identity. Getting a person's consent would be essential and the right thing to do. So a good story would really make your presentation more interesting and more human as well.

Ask a good question

One thing I learn from life, and this is not just regarding presentations. Asking a good question is an art and a thought-provoking one can shed a light on a lot of points and also force the audience to think about the points you are bringing forth. So when asking question trying keeping it open-ended unless you want an immediate response like a show of hands etc. You could use questioning at the beginning of the presentation as well. It could help you in engaging the audience and also drive your point across to them.

Use an eye-catching statistic or  ear-grabbing headline

This one is a very common practice that is highly effective but must be used with caution. Some times there are chances that you have misunderstood the statistic. So thoroughly research the issue before firing one of those stats. If you are using a Newspaper Headline see that it is not a satire piece or fake news. By now you might have realized that good Speakers do a lot of hard work and it is not a walk in the park. I think it is quite a responsibility. But yes to my experience Statistic or Headlines can be quite an attention grabber.


Use an Inspiring quote

Inspiring quotes are very often inspiring and not just me people love hearing them too. But they shouldn't be cliched unless it is like an emergency. Maybe one could use it in a certain kind of circumstances. Quotes can be used in presentations and due credit should be given to the person you are quoting. Don't make someone else's words as your own, it would be plagiarism. Quotes can also be used to build a more interactive presentation where you could also ask questions to the audience and get their views. It would also get feedback to understand if the audience is understanding the points you want to get across to them.

Photos speak a thousand words

While giving presentations it is important to understand that all of the audience are not auditory learners and there are also visual learners. Actually, most of us have been primed to learn visually. So using relevant images would be really helpful. There are a lot of good resources online that are either paid and free photos. It is important to see that the photo used is relevant to the topic you want to discuss and that it supports the idea your presenting. Well, Do you think the image I used at the beginning of the article is relevant, do let me know in the comment section.

Use a prop or visual aid

People consume a lot of content these days. So adding a bit of theatre won't kill. You add some props to make your presentation interesting. You could use a simple chart you have prepared to a Print ad etc. You could prepare these props before you deliver the presentation.

People love a short video

Videos are used so often to convey ideas. You could you use one too. There is a lot of Video stock available online or also content on Youtube that can be used during your presentation. If a picture speaks a thousand videos, videos can do much more. So use them only when they are relevant and they can help you take your presentation to another level altogether.

Bonus one:

End Well and Practice:

I think this point is self-explanatory. But yes a good conclusion is what the audience is going to take home with them. You must reinforce the ideas you put forth at the beginning of the presentation with a summary of the proposed solutions.

Lastly, I believe, Like one of my Theatre mentors used to say, It is not about impression but expressing your ideas well. Practice, Practice and get good feedback is very important to a Superb Presentation. These are some powerful ideas. Please do share your experiences in the comment section with presentations. And also answer the question I mentioned in the article. Thanks

Ciao!


References:

Presentation Tips

Planning a Presentation

Effective Presentations

Giving a Killer Presentation


Credits: Article Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay
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Five Easy Ways To Facilitate Gratitude Journal Styles

February 24, 2019
https://www.maxpixel.net/Journal-Blank-Notebook-Writing-Paper-Book-Diary-3193808
Gratitude Journal Styles *



In my previous article, I have covered a lot of ground on Gratitude. Please click here to check it and please do subscribe to my emails for future articles and announcements. Practicing gratitude has really helped me see things differently and it has helped get a more positive outlook.

To me, it seems like the most obvious thing, but sometime back it was not. A lot of times good ideas just tickle our imaginations and senses. It is very seldom implemented. Either because we feel that it is impractical or we don't have a plan to guide us. In this app driven world where everything is an app. It can be difficult to do things without a plan or framework. Today I shall be sharing a beautiful concept related to gratitude called a Gratitude journal.

So let us first understand the idea before actually making one. I believe that recording our feelings and reactions while finding a grateful attitude to filter out our emotions can be quite helpful. Primarily on not so good days, it would help us understand the reasons to find some cheer. It would also remind us that our selective thinking focuses our attention only on pitiful memories when we are down or on brighter moments when we are upbeat. Which I think it doesn't seem like any kind of objectivity. So in life, I think adding a dash of hopefulness to seeing situations can be very useful. It helps us understand our situations and also guides us to strategize ahead. This is where gratefulness plays a key role.

So, Here are 5 ways to a Gratitude Journal:

'The Weekly Gratitude' Journal:


A Weekly Gratitude Journal is a weekly record of the events, moments and things that make you feel grateful. Choose just a small list of say five things that make you feel grateful. I believe this could very simple and normal things. The idea is developing an attitude of gratitude and not filling up a book. So reflect intently and fill the list.

'End of the Day Gratitude' Journal:


This is a daily record of encountering gratitude. So choose a quiet and peaceful time of the day. Calm your mind and reflect on the events during the day. Now record it on paper or if you are using a software or an app key it in. Keep the sentences short. So when you get back to your journal, its a like a summary of all the grateful moments during your day.

'Anytime Gratitude' Journal:


This style of journaling would involve recording your gratitude moments on the go. You feel it, you know it, you write it. It's quite simple. So one just needs to use some tact and to stop and think. Then after reflecting at the situation, person or challenge, we need to record it in the journal. But in this style, there is no real time or place. It's on the go.

'Monthly Gratitude' Journal:


This style of journaling should be done once a month. But to keep it meaningful and factual. It should be more of a ritual. A day of the month should be chosen to record the reasons to be grateful. This could be done in a quiet place or after some prayer or meditation. This helps you focus and engage with the process of journaling our gratitude moments.


'Hybrid Gratitude' Journal:


In this style, we pick and choose some of the above styles to our convenience. We can combine anytime journaling with Monthly journaling ( or formats of your choice). So the first one becomes like a daily tracker and the second one to record the highlights for the month. Creatively bespoke it to your convenience and good health.

Ending Thoughts

In short, I would say there is no one particular style I would recommend. 'Anytime Gratitude' Journaling is an approach that helped me.

I prefer writing paragraphs then just lists. It helps me recap the emotion and situation. I don't use any particular template. But there are many useful templates to use. Check this article by PositivePsychologyProgram, It covers some interesting templates and apps that can be used for creating a Gratitude journal.

Your views


In the comments section, please do mention what approach has helped you. In a future article, I shall cover some templates and technologies like apps and platforms that have personally helped me. God bless! See you in the next article...

Other Articles


Turn Pain to Joy: 11 Tips for a Powerful Gratitude Journal
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/turn-pain-to-joy-11-tips-for-a-powerful-gratitude-journal/

How To Start A Gratitude Journal You’ll Actually Keep
https://www.shutterfly.com/ideas/how-to-start-a-gratitude-journal/

Image


*https://www.maxpixel.net/Journal-Blank-Notebook-Writing-Paper-Book-Diary-3193808

Who is a Life Coach ? A Short Guide on understand Life Coaching

November 14, 2018
Who is a Life Coach
Life Coach... A Mentor and guide

Helping people and hearing their problems have always been something I enjoyed. 

But I never wanted to become a psychologist. So what are the options I always wondered? I came across the concept of a Life Coach.

So I wondered how different could a Life Coach be from a Psychologist. I have been to a Psychologist and even had some psychologist friends. I always wondered if there were any difference between two, a Psychologist and a Life Coach. 

They both look the same. So are they different? Let's see. So today we shall look at the similarities and differences between a Life Coach and a Psychologist.

According to Tony Robbins, the difference between Life Coaching and Psychologist lies in their goals. He says Life Coaching is about helping people with their goals, whereas therapy is about the diagnosis of 'illnesses and pathologies.

So if you are working on Personal Projects, work-related issues and/or major life changes a Life Coach could be someone who could help. 

Generally, a Life Coach is certified by an Institute or International Body, unlike a Psychologist who is licensed and possesses a degree in Psychology. One can be a Psychologist and a Life Coach too.

So though a Life Coach and a Psychologist may have some similarities. Their essential differences define them. A Life coach is more suitable to help guide and motivate people to succeed.  

A good Life coach besides being certified should have relevant experience in coaching.

To become a Life coach one does not need to leave their existing jobs. It can be done part-time. According to Payscale.com, Life coaches can make around $ 27000 to $ 40000 a year. There are a lot of Institutes that offer certifications and training to be a good Life Coach. 

I believe passion and right training can make a huge difference in becoming a successful Life Coach.


So
urce:*1 https://www.tonyrobbins.com/coaching/life-coach-vs-therapist/

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