Check out my posts on !
Showing posts sorted by date for query ponder points. Sort by relevance Show all posts

Ponder points: What the month of July taught me? 3 Interesting Insights that could help me change

July 17, 2021

 

July has been kind to me


Gosh! This month has been masala packed. I have personally learnt a lot.

I would like share some of my insights this month has shared with me.

This month started as a regular month. One of the precious moments being my Mom's Birthday on the 4th of July.

This pandemic has brought me close to my Wife's family. It has been an insightful experience.

My daughter started school; managing work with schooling can be a challenge for a lot of parents.

3 Insights that helped me see Life differently this month

You can choose your Perspective

Learning and insights


You must be thinking Chris, Duh, isn't it obvious? Not for me...

After consuming some content from New Agers, I realized that I don't need to be fixated into one perspective.

Since ideas have consequences , So does see things from a perspective. When we think in terms of possibilities and scan different perspectives in our day to day lives its a different matter.

I actually started practicing it. It works like magic.

You can be Assertive, but being rude is not necessary

Join our Private FB Group: Life Commune!


I think sometimes Rudeness can be needed. But mostly it is not required. 

Assertiveness is something that helps resolve issues and when we master it. We can come across as being unnecessarily rude.

It was a realization that humbled me. (This post is feeling like a confession now...Lol)

I learnt that I was expressing myself without hurting others (unnecessarily).

You can blog without writing long posts, Hop on Twitter

Twitter is fun! Connect with me.


Initially Twitter seemed like something everyone followed and enjoyed; I couldn't see the point of it.

I forced myself to sign up and just use the platform. Its simplicity is so attractive.

Sometimes a line is enough to express oneself. Writing a long post just to keep it SEO friendly for the sake of it is completely not required.

Let's connect on Twitter and microblog...

In Conclusion

I have learnt so much in 15 days, Learning can shake up a lot of wrong ideas and can open New channels that enrich you.

I would say that learning different perspectives is helpful and besides informing you it can give you useful ideas.

So I hope it is not to early but July has been a kind month for me. I wish you a great month and wonderful day.

Do share your comments and connect with me on FB. Subscribe to my Newsletter by clicking here!

References





[full-width]



Fear of failing and 3 Insightful Ideas to get through difficult times

July 25, 2020

Ponder Points- insights by Chris Educator

Dark Night of the Soul: 3 Insightful Ideas to get through it


Life for most of us can be normal most of the time. There are phases of being elated and some painful episodes thrown in between.

These Painful periods can come all of a sudden or can pull us gradually into it. It can be induced as a kind of discipline by ascetically motivated (I imagine...Dan Brown-style...Self Flagellating, Lol)

via GIPHY


It's often called the Dark Night of the soul. A Period where everything seems confusing and topsy turvy. It can feel like your joys are just pulled away from you.

It's a pretty crappy phase. But it can teach one a lot. If this describes what's happening, Believe me, it would feel like no understands you and you are like the only person who has gone through it.

But it's not at all like that, It's happened to me once. It's a long story and I don't think this is the right medium to express those experiences. In my head (at least), I think it could easily fill a book.

What People say about it

The concept is derived from a 16th Century Mystic, St. John of the Cross. He was a Catholic Saint and he wrote about the experience in a poem.

Going through so many quotes it's amazing how the experience is common and at the same time transformative.

For me, it was like a Job (a Biblical character) like experience. The common thread is pain and transformation.

I wanted to quote some people here, But no. I will be sharing links to other articles. I think it would be like reinventing the wheel.

The idea is to inform you and help. I have been there and it can feel really lonely. Here are some interesting articles.

Article No. 1

The Dark Night of the Soul: Understanding Amidst the Absence of Meaning by Joshua Press.

In article, Joshua shares beautiful quotes on Dark Night of the Soul (DNTS). He shares interesting points and the transformative experience of it.

It's an article that can get you to understand the topic deeper and from a different perspective.

Article No. 2

18 Signs You’re Experiencing A Dark Night Of The Soul, Otherwise Known As an Existential Crisis by Brianna Wiest.

This article speaks on the way to identify if you are going through it. 

She covers a list of points that would help you identify DNTS in your life or situation.

Article No.3 (Not exactly an Article, But a Wiki)

Dark Night of the Soul by Wikipedia

This wiki covers various aspects of DNTS and it is quite informative.

There could be more resources but I think this would give us a good way to explore the topic a bit more. 

Why I think it's an Opportunity

Looking back, I think it was actually an opportunity. I realized the freedom I had in myself. 

I saw the Bullshit all around, all the things that were actually tying me down and pull me under its weight.

Maybe sometimes things are allowed to happen to us to free us (I am sure many people may not like what I am saying).

Sometimes rebooting and starting over may not be a bad thing. It could be for the good. 

We can use our insights and troubles to benefit.

Clichéd but we could actually Transform our Mess into a Message.

Some Pointers

3 R's


via GIPHY

So what is 3R? Its a song heard from my daughter. Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle.
 

Yes, 😂 You heard it right. In real life, we must recycle the crap we face and transform it into something useful.

Just because something is garbage, it does not logically ( and Experientially) follow that discarding it (Experiences, Relations, or maybe our Painful experiences) is the only option.

Yes, It is easier said than done. But it is a Transformative Experience. Dying and came back to a 'New life' is a theme we see in nature and religion, It is not without wisdom.

So We must Reduce toxic thoughts/people, Reuse our time and thoughts to move beyond ourselves, and Recycle our crappy phases to our benefit.

Self Caring is not selfish. You can help others only when you are there.

Delay Decision Making


Don't rush making important decisions


When we are not in a proper zone Mentally I wonder how wise it is to make a decision.

Think about it, it is not. Rational and well thought of decisions can go bad ( Due unknown factors )

So imagine making Life-changing decisions when things are very different from normal.

I heard this advice from a Preacher John Mac Arthur ( I don't agree with all that he says, But Good advice is good)

When you are going through the Dark Night of the soul mode, it can really screw with your head.

See-through the Illusion


via GIPHY

Sometimes when things are difficult or we are trying to solve problems sticking to only one perspective can be binding and many can be confusing.

This power idea caught my attention. The idea that when we are in difficult moments we only tend to evaluate our past through dark lenses.

We paint everything bad and gloomy. Maybe we need to see things from another perspective.

May be like an illusion careful analysis and wisdom would be required to understand things. I believe our situations are no different.

Conclusion

DNTS can be difficult, but it should encourage you that many people have shared the same experience.

They have used situations like this to transform themselves. It's human and normal to have experiences like these. 

If you find it overburdensome, share your experiences with a friend or a professional counselor.

I hope this article was interesting and has helped you. Do share this article and give me your feedback about my thoughts/opinions and how you find my website.

Catch you in the next post. 

[full-width]

Ponder Point - The Cost of Being too Nice

September 26, 2019

The Cost of Being too Nice


Difficulties of Being Too Nice

Photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels

I was just speaking to a Customer Service Executive the other day, the person was hardly audible.

I assume he was just shy or maybe not trying to shout on the microphone. But I wasn't able to hear him, He wasn't audible. I didn't want to shout him down and kill his confidence.

 I pursued the conversation. I was terminating their service and they wanted references. Now imagine, doing a referral call and not firmly asking the customer for referrals. It's a pretty awkward situation, I was able to empathize with him.

 A lot of time it is wrong ideas and our perception that hold us back from self-actualization.

So I decided to help him out. I got my headset plugged it into my mobile phone and spoke to him.

I encouraged him to get close to the microphone on his headset and request clearly. I didn't end up giving him referrals, but I helped him speak clearly. I spared myself the guilt of not helping a learner.

The 24/7 Educator

Teaching, Mentoring & Building People


As an Educator, We have to push ourselves to go beyond being nice and try exploring avenues to guide people. For me, everybody is in sales, and philosophy and in business. 

Not being nice, doesn't mean being ruthless. So when you philosophise it's okay to not be nice and share the truth of your message. But being ruthless is not the other option. 

We can learn to use our words and gestures carefully, we can choose to build people.

It's a different matter if you find people unworthy and ungrateful. 

Practice Gratefulness whenever necessary and without expectations.

In Short, Be Nice.

So let us look at some of the Negatives of being too Nice 

Check out this article on

How to write a Gratitude Journal?


Negatives of being too Nice 

Negatives of Being Too Nice: Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

1. Less Valued:

It's right to be Nice and a lot of us have been brought up to be kind and thoughtful of others. But we have also been taught to speak our minds and stand for what is right. 

Conveniently ignoring the latter and only pursuing the former selectively is hypocritical. 

That's a problem, In the pursuit of Pleasing others we forget some of our values. 

Quite interesting, How we can be selective in being nice. We mostly overlook this aspect.

2. People won't be there for you:

Situational Outcast

Expecting everyone to be like you and share the same values is perceiving the world incorrectly. 

Of course, As humans, we do share a lot in common.

People have different values, worldviews, and ethical systems. Just being agreeable and too nice is overlooking a lot. It's okay to disagree and if people don't share your values, it's fine. 

Some people may not reciprocate the same goodness and this is where being very nice gets you into a lot of trouble. 

We start expecting others to be the same, and they may not think it important to help you (when you need them). 

So it is important to have relationships but they should be ones where we allow mutual benefit and self-growth to thrive. 

We should avoid toxic relationships, where we are just sponged on and taken advantage of.

3. Impossibility of pleasing everybody

Let's imagine the idea of pleasing everybody, It's so daunting. 

My Goodness think about it, you have to please everybody you know and imagine what a waste of time. (You would be surprised, just how many take you for granted or don't even acknowledge the goodness)

An additional negative aspect of this is that we don't leave open the opportunity for people to move ahead. 

It obligates them (Some may perceive) because we have more chips of goodness over them.

4. Lack of Assertiveness & its ill effects

A very important thing to realize is that maybe we are not that assertive. 

So it can be a great opportunity to realize that and practice assertiveness. We can also start building healthy friendships.

5. Wrong Perception of the World

Lastly, I believe it stems from a wrong perception of things especially the world around us. 

As we have seen, earlier people have different values and agenda, being nice to everybody may not be the best strategy. So we need something better and healthier. 

So the next question that comes to our minds is 'What to do next?'

But before we go ahead on being Truly nice. Let us consider some disadvantages, quickly.

Some Disadvantages of Being Too Nice

Disadvantages of Being Nice: Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

1. Losing Social Capital

It's less beneficial as the individual does not take healthy advantage of his / her efforts of caring for others. Thus reducing his social capital.

2. Losing the Benefits of Being Assertive

Being Assertive has its benefits, For example, We have the benefit of refusing choices that we don't want to pursue. This helps in increasing our confidence and also indirectly building our public image.

3. Lowering your Personal Brand Value

People tend to perceive us badly, Personal Branding like branding is all about perception. Being overly Nice rather than genuine and assertive can hamper one's reputation and thus lower one's Brand Value.

4. Lacking the ability to provide genuine help

Lastly, It prevents healthy and genuine help. Thus making helping others only becomes a matter of gaining brownie points.

Let's See how to stop being Nice and Be Genuine

Being Genuine: Image by Caique Silva Fotografo from Pixabay 

Understanding your identity

Identity plays a key role in how we view ourselves and understand others. We need to look at ourselves and understand that the external me is not the person inside. 

We need to see and understand who we are and what we are doing. We need to understand our values and know ourselves better. 

This will give us a better ground to build self-confidence and take steps boldly, Confident in ourselves and our values.

Building your EQ

It is a very good thing that modern education in schools makes an effort to build a person's emotional life. 

We must not fool ourselves into thinking that it is only our knowledge or expertise that makes us who we are. I believe it is much more than that. 

We are much more than who we think we are. Our emotions and emotional life matter, so do that of the people around us.

But just pandering to people and trying to please everybody is tragic, strategically and personally. It completely lacks wisdom.

Cultivating Healthy Friendships

Healthy & Positive Friendships

In this day of Social Media, we think a longer friend list matters. I must tell it is far from being true. I am not saying don't connect with old acquaintances and good old friends.

 But I think it is wise to invest in a healthy support system of a limited number of friends and extended family members.

I believe rather than pleasing everybody, It is okay to piss some people off.

Joy of Assertiveness

I came across this idea of being assertive during my Graduate day. A friend of mine had shared with me a book on Assertiveness. Ever since then, I have been practicing it. It is very magical. 

As an Educator, It would be rather difficult to please than everybody (all the time). Imagine the joy of setting rules that can create a learning environment and a rapt audience in your classroom ( It's simply priceless). 

As an Educator, it is essential to set certain rules or a framework for discipline. Assertiveness helps in building a culture of learning in the classroom. It is also very effective in personal life too. 

Does it irritate some people,? You bet it does. But as I said it earlier, it joyfully fine. :)

Purpose of True Niceness

The purpose of being Truly Nice is to be genuine and build yourself while helping others. This I think is the basic purpose of being Genuinely nice.

Concluding Thoughts

As an Educator and a student of Self Growth, I believe it is wise to be genuine and assertive. It pays to invest in friends and family that understand and value you. Seeking popularity to replace genuine relationships can often be an empty pursuit.

Wish you Happy Learning and meet you in the next Blog Post. Ciao!

Further Reading

Personal Identity: A Quiz with an informative article on Personal Identity

Importance of Daily Efforts: A Quote on the importance of Daily Steps

What is Emotional Intelligence?



[full-width]


Ponder Points - Being Prepared

August 09, 2019
Being Prepared


Opportunities & Difficulties

Being an Entrepreneur and working for self can be such a blessing. But Let me tell you, It has its own difficulties. Life is always filled with possibilities ( Check this article I wrote on Choices), like Napolean Hill would say that it is our lack of self-confidence that holds us back, but I would say that it is also not being prepared.

So how does one be prepared, I would say self preparedness starts with a healthy self-evaluation.


Finding your Strengths

One of the basic things that we learn in Management is a SWOT analysis. It is a topic taught under the subject of Strategic Management ( Quite an interesting topic). So basically, starts out with understanding their Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. This is quite a good starting point, Understanding yourself or your organization. 

Spiritual Masters had their own version of it, but this happened for spiritual growth. They would evaluate their entire day and pray for people. The same can be applied or practiced, by taking a personal inventory of our entire day. Ultimately, Time is one of the greatest assets we have.

So then what next, 


How to decide your Mission? The Guy Kawasaki Way

Set a mission... and how Guy Kawasaki would do it. Set a mantra

Mantras are much more effective. Mantras summarise all that you want to do and achieve. It can be very effective as it would constantly remind us of our purpose.

Check this Youtube video, He shares with startups on the importance of having a mantra.





These techniques can also be used for our personal growth too.


Keeping a Plan B

What can be a Plan B? For an Entrepreneur, it can be another income source or leveraging a network. A Plan B can be also pursued as a hobby, It does not need to occupy all your time. 

It can be some that you love doing and are passionate about. And yes it should pay you something. Being resourceful and taking small steps can be really helpful.


Deliberately Being Prepared in 3 Simple Steps

So let us summarise some ideas on Being Prepared

  1. Understand yourself
  2. Have a Mantra
  3. What's your Plan B

Here is an interesting quote on Preparedness:


Power Quote by Louis Pasteur

Some Recommended Books: Books to keep you Prepared

Learn how to make your own plan B, I would recommend a wonderful book to help you kickstart a part-time gig or even a full-time career, it's The $100 Startup: Fire Your Boss, Do What You Love and Work Better To Live More by Chris Guillebeau and Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill. These books can really help you start, build and pursue your goals.

These links are Amazon Affiliate links, please do check the disclosure page.

So Be Prepared and Have a wonderful day! Please do Comment, Like and Share.

Further Readings:

Conduct a Personal SWOT Analysis to Improve Your Career
https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/5543-personal-swot-analysis.html

How to Be Prepared for Anything
https://zenhabits.net/survival-kit/

On Being Prepared
https://www.matthewedgar.net/on-being-prepared/


[full-width]



Ponder Points - Cost of doing Nothing

July 20, 2019

Cost of Doing Nothing


I have been a subscriber to Tropical MBA for quite some time. It's an e-commerce company that focuses on Location-independent Entrepreneurship. I want to share this quote from their newsletter (do subscribe to it) Click Here!.
 “The cost of being wrong is less than the cost of doing nothing.” - Seth Godin
Do comment on How hesitation can be a deterrent to achieving our goals.

[full-width]
Powered by Blogger.