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Treasuring and Missing our loved ones during tough times, 5 Suggested Strategies to cope with grief

May 03, 2021

Grieving is something we all may have to encounter at some point

 

One of the two things constant in Life is Death and the second is Change. I think this is attributed to Buddha, I found this idea quite profound.

I have lost loved ones to death and it is a painful experience. You wonder (at the moment) if there is some way to restore them. It is painful to see them being buried or cremated. But it is a part of life.

It's everywhere in Nature, Death and New Birth. How does one cope with losing someone dear? I don't know if there is a special 5 step formula, but I do know the pain is real.

If you are one of those people who is experiencing this unfortunate situation. I wish you hope and strength, I am sorry for your loss.

I have collected some ideas that may serve you. They may help you cope and guide you through these difficult times.

Before writing and researching this article, I have dwelt on this topic many times.

Grief and Loss: An important Life event?

As we grow older this is a reality we find ourselves in. The possibility of us transitioning into the afterlife and our loved ones going through the same.

These pointers will focus on those who are left behind. Those who are bearing the pain of this huge loss.

I have spoken to a few friends and email subscribers, I am going to share some of the ideas I have got. Suggestions here are meant to help you cope and not serve as an alternative to Professional Medical Help.

Life can be difficult, community support and the right kind of Medical Support can be really productive. (Speaking as a recipient of good Medical support myself, Helping yourself is wise when you need it)

Some strategies to consider during grieving times:

I hope I don't personally find this odd when I am grieving. I used the word strategy, I think it can be an extremely painful situation to be in.

I have lost loved ones and I still miss them to this day. Some have been lost to illness, accidents and old age. But It feels painful whatever be the reason.

It is a part of life, a Life event we all must experience. But the ones left can be a lot of heartaches and memories.

It's normal to miss them

People express the pain in different ways. It's completely normal to miss a loved one. It may be missing a friend or a relative, missing a loved one always hurts.

You may feel a lot of things emotionally and physically while your grieving. It's normal to feel and experience these kinds of changes.

It's okay to express grief

While your grieving there is no set time limit or rules that govern the entire process. It's a heartfelt response to a personal loss.

You should not punish yourself or blame yourself for expressing your loss. Get the healthy support of friends or family members.

If possible join a support group or speak with a counsellor.

If you are physically hurt it is not considered wrong to seek help. Similarly ignoring professional help during tough situations is unnecessary. It is proper and right to seek professional help.

I would say it is wise too. A lot of times we become victims of wrong thinking patterns during difficult times. Professionals can give us strategies and effective help to deal with troubling situations.

It's fine to seek company or community

This is another one I wanted to speak about. It's okay to join a group that is helping you cope with your grieving process.

This can be your local religious community or even your friends. But do take care not to fall for groups that prey on people. 

There are sadly some religious groups and network marketers who are taught to actively use this kind of painful situations for recruitment. 

(I am not against Network Marketing and Religious recruitment as long as it is not Coercive and Shaddy)

It's okay to delay making important decisions

Difficult questions may not come when we would like them to. So when making important decisions try to delay (if possible) to a time when you are in a better mental space.

I can't tell you how important this one is. But a better mental space is important while making Life-changing decisions.

It's fine if we commemorate them

It's okay to celebrate Life events associated with them. If people think otherwise it's okay.

I believe treasuring memories and appreciating people who made a difference in our lives is important.

It helps us express our appreciation and the wonderful moments we shared with them.

In Conclusion

I don't know how you process the afterlife and all its mysteries. But I am sure our Loved ones will always live in our memories and in our hearts. 

Maybe there are things we thought we could do with them, but we must also remember the joyful moments you shared. You can share that joy with your near and dear ones.

Reaching out to people and creating new memories with people. We all move towards the same destination. I think it makes a difference to make a small difference.

I may not share the intensity of your pain, but as a Human, I can see how painful it is. Wish you strength and courage, May God bless you!

Further Reading

Coping with Grief and Loss by Helpguide

Coping with Grief and Loss by Psychological Health care

Can Money buy love? A Short reflection

Kickstart your next side hustle

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Can money buy love? What does love mean to you

April 25, 2021

Can Money buy love?


I recently shared an interesting quote by Brazilian playwright Nelson Rodrigues. What do you think about it?

I had mixed reactions reading about it. When you read about love from a psychological point of view. It brings out the sacredness of love and how it relates to the sacred aspect of our lives.

The other element it looks at is the emotional life that love seeks to fulfil. According to an article in Psychology Today, love cannot be bought but only the occasions and situations that help us find it can be enhanced.

I think these are some important questions we ask ourselves. Maybe there are situations that compel us to reflect on life in this way.

On the other hand, however, we may try to rose coloured love, but there are practical aspects to a relationship we cannot ignore.

Love thrives in situations and so does our relationships. If care and attention are important for a good relationship so is the practical parts of it.

I think as we learn from the good and bad parts of our relationships we grow and learn new things. There may be many guides and articles on the science of a healthy marriage or partnership, but I think giving our best and learning actively about the other person is important.

I think sometimes we tend to fit things in a framework. This may suck the freedom and life of the other person.

The other problem is this hopeless political game of power. Yes, Power struggles can be real in a relationship.

There could be many more problems, Some are practical problems like Time or money. 

I think anything worth the while has its struggles.

I hope you found this short reflection useful. Please share this article and subscribe to our Facebook page

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7 Powerful Elements to add Authenticity to your Personal Brand, A Short Guide

March 24, 2021

Authenticity and your Personal Brand


Do you remember the time when you read about your favourite celebrity in Magazine? Or that Page 3 article covering the latest gossip about them. 

Nowadays, Social media platforms have changed the way we communicate. 

It has helped us relate more to people we idolise. It has helped us connect with people we met and would like to know.

This has put an important need for understanding people. The need to see who they are. The need for authenticity has become highly essential.

Social media platforms have transformed the people who influence others into brands. Authenticity has a huge role in building powerful Personal Brands.

You could check some of my Blogs on Personal Branding,


Comment and Share your opinions on Personal Branding. 

What is a Personal Brand?




We all know and relate to different brands every day. We buy and patronise various goods and services. They add value to our lives. These brands come with a unique identity and promises.

We grow to love and hate these brands. Personal brands are influencers, people we know and associate with something unique. 

This could be a service they offer. Some Entertainment value they bring or plain admiration that we have for them.

Personal Branding is the process of creating personal brands. Authenticity is one such element in Personal Brands. 

There are other elements like Vision, Personality, Differentiation etc.


Authenticity as a Part of Branding

Faking it may be useful but when done badly it can backfire

I am sure some of us have been to an Education Fair. We go to hear some of our favourite speakers. 

We walk through aisles of many universities lined up into stalls. They promote the latest courses on offer. It's an experience that makes you think about possibilities.

Similarly, when we meet people for business or play we try to create the best impression of ourselves. 

We try to market ourselves and that's awesome. When we are online whether on Facebook or Linkedin we are doing the same thing. We are creating an impression. Most of us understand that.

Faking it may be useful but when done badly it can backfire. We can be perceived to be inauthentic. 

Authenticity can be a force that shows the person behind the brand. It peels away the veneer of the image to bring a bit of 'You' to your brand.

There are benefits to doing this, People learn to trust you and over a period of time even perceive you as a leader. 

So if you are churning out great content on Makeup or Sport or anything else. People learn from you and this adds value to your brand.

I would like to share some elements that build authenticity.

7 Powerful elements of Building Authenticity:

Any Questions regarding Personal Branding?

Please share any queries or questions you have on Personal branding.

You can also comment on what you think about this blog.

Honesty:

Honesty works



This is an obvious one. We know the importance of honesty. 

But some may wonder how sensible it is, to be honest. Honesty is an important part of Authenticity. People are relating to you and not just the idea of you.

Clarity of our values and what we are offering is important.

We need to be clear about our brand values to build authenticity.
 

Understanding People:

Understand others by understanding yourself



Who are we communicating to? Communication is not unidirectional. 

We need to understand others. What they think, what they feel? 

These questions are important. This will help us communicate effectively with them. 

If you have certain principles and values that define you, so do people. Understanding people can help you serve them better, this, in turn, builds authenticity.

Communication:

Marketing can be as simple as speaking to someone



Communication is essential and it is not only about creating viral content. 

It can also be engaging with people. Understanding their problems and needs. 

We must try to see how can we add value. Bombarding people with messages is pushy and not needed. 

Listening is also an important part of communication. We can get great ideas and useful feedback while we listen and engage with our audience.

Clarity:

Check this article, Click here


What are you doing? What are you about? You need to be clear about how are you relevant to the people you are serving. This requires clarity. 

Let me explain it with an example If you are a working professional. People who need your product/service would want to know how it serves them. 

If you can guide and help them with understanding to meet these needs. You become relevant. 

Relevance adds to the building of authenticity, but it all starts with Clarity. Being clear about what you do and who it benefits.

Personality:

We can listen and learn

You are a person. Show the human side of you. You don't need to be plastic, you can be yourself whilst understanding others. It's okay to be you.

Be clear about how relevant you are to serving people you relate with. We all have shortcomings and so do you. But we can listen and learn, it's okay to show that side of you.

The benefits are tremendous, you don't need to fake it. You listen and get feedback that helps you learn. You understand how to serve people better by being yourself.

Uniqueness:

You are Unique and believing that is a Choice



So you offer a service or you entertain people. Too bad other people do the same. But is that something to worry about? 

Of course not, You can bring something unique to your audience.

This does not need to be strikingly different. It needs to be something that does not recreate the wheel but adds something different that helps people.

Consistency:

Things can be Difficult, Don't give up



All major brands and influencers have not become brands overnight. 

They all share consistency as a unique trait. 

Be consistent, keep engaging and sharing ideas with people.


In Conclusion


Social Media has democratised influence and helped us network better. But Authenticity and being real is something we all value.

I have shared 7 elements that I feel would really add value to you and your audience by building authenticity to your Personal Brand.

"Case Study on Building an Authentic Brand", Coming Soon.

Check my Instagram page, @officialchriseducator, Let's connect!


References:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescommunicationscouncil/2019/11/22/15-critical-elements-of-authentic-brand-communication/?sh=2b4c292328b8

https://digitalwellbeing.org/new-brand-authenticity-scale-released-how-authentic-are-you/

https://www.chiefmarketer.com/the-art-of-authenticity-in-branding/

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/263442915_Brand_Authenticity_Towards_a_Deeper_Understanding_of_Its_Conceptualization_and_Measurement


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Happy Women's Day, 3 Women who inspire the best in me and one of them is my wife

March 10, 2021
Women who inspire me
Women who inspire me

 
Yes, you might be thinking Women's Day is over. Chris, you are late. I must confess every day belongs to you. Carpe Diem! 

But having said that I must say looking back the women I know have been an inspiration to me.

It is amazing how people we know can share such an influence on us. 

I think we need days and moments to stop and reflect on the impact people have on us.

Influencers in our lives

Our Personal Influencers: our loved ones

We all have a circle of influence. It may be big or small. But it is important.

I once read while studying about EQ (Emotional Quotient) on the importance of choosing at least 15 people to have in our lives.

Among those 15 people, Women of course share a huge role in my life.

I see people who share lives with us and mentor us as Real Influencers we have. They may not be perfect but they are there to guide us.


My First Influencer

When I see people face family pressure for choosing a different religious or spiritual path. I think it should not be like that.

 

The first person we know (for most of us) is our Mother. My mother has been a huge influence on my life.

She would never influence the way we thought about things. We all (The Dias's) have a kind of free spirit.

I seem to like the only conservative at home. My mom has been very accommodating. As a person, I have been exploring spirituality for years.

My Mom supports that and has never confronted me and treated me like a pariah. There has rarely been a confrontation on this point. Maybe a concern, but absolute freedom. I love my mom for that.

When I see people face family pressure for choosing a different religious or spiritual path. I think it should not be like that. The family should continue to love and support the person.

It's not that my Mom endorses my religious or spiritual views but she dialogues and tries to hear me. That's so encouraging and I love my Mother for it.


One of the Reasons I love Entrepreneurship

When I look back I remember her and it encourages me to give my best. 

 

My Grandmother was an entrepreneur. She started a Small Business in Mumbai. She was a student when she came to Mumbai.

She has always been someone I look up to for inspiration. I am sure wherever she is, She is wishing the best for me.

She would take me to Church every day. I would play as a child in Church, lol it was so awesome. She would feed me fruits and tell me Biblical stories and stories about our Family.

She would share her experiences and the difficulties she faced. It was one of the best days of my life.

When I look back I remember her and it encourages me to give my best. It shows me the value of working hard and being resourceful. She showed me the importance of mentoring and sharing life with people.


My Better Half



I have been married for the last 6 years. Wow, it been a long time for me. 

My wife is one of the people who know me quite well. She is my closest friend, partner and thoughtful critic (I hope she doesn't kill me for saying this).

We all need someone to keep us grounded. She as a person has been a constant support. She has shown me a different side to life.

She is not so dogmatic about life and passionate about Teaching. During the pandemic, she would stretch herself to give her best to her students whilst being with child. She would just give her best to her work (and for me that is truly inspirational).


The Long list


My Sister, my Aunties, my close friends, and a whole host of colleagues and students have been there for me and I am ever grateful.

This blog would never end and they have been a source of inspiration and help when I needed it. 

Does this mean I have no issues with any of the above? Not at all. The problem is we fail to realize our idols are Humans too. We put them on pedestals and when they falter we demote them.

I must say all of the 3 women I mentioned are as human as Human can be. But there is a value that people and life can bring. We must acknowledge that.


In Conclusion

Women are loved and they have added tremendous value to our lives. Down the ages, they have been a source of Joy and tremendous progress.

I always wanted to say this. I think this is the power of blogging that even a video can't capture. The ability to just express freely. Once again Happy Women's Day!

In the comments section please share about the women who have inspired you.

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Chris Educator's Top 10 Affirmations on Gratefulness for building a positive attitude and patting your own back

February 22, 2021

Do you encourage yourself? Funny thought, right!

Why Affirmation?

 When I got the results I was surprised I actually got the score I had aimed for. 

How many of you have seen 'The Secret'? Let me start by a small confession. I just don't buy the idea of the law of attraction. Before you skip this page, Please wait I shall share some reasons why I don't believe it.

But regarding Affirmations, I think there are good reasons to believe it (is effective). Let me share a testimony. I could have started by listing my reasons, but I think a testimony will capture much more about how I feel. 

It was during my Grade 10 exams, I had read an article on tips for preparing for examination. Yes, Students do read and believe ideas you share (So we must be careful while sharing ideas).

This article suggested that affirmations and visualization had helped people achieve great results. I tried it everyday but not very seriously. During the day casually I reminded myself about my goal to achieve a good grade. Sometimes I would even dream about it. 

When the exams approached me, things and people just supported me and things really worked out. I got the right material for studying and my parents really supported me. It was a great experience. When I got the results I was surprised I actually got the score I had aimed for.

So did that convince to practice Affirmations and visualizations, Lol, actually no. But I do use it sometimes. But what interests me more is that how it works and its effectiveness.

What are Affirmations? Please explain. 

Affirmations are positive statements


Okay, Let me explain affirmations and what they are. Are they just repeating statements? Do they have magical powers?

So here it is, What is an Affirmation? According to Mindtools.com, "Affirmations are positive statements that can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging  and negative thoughts. When you repeat them often, and believe in them, you can start to make positive changes."

affirmations and visualization had helped people achieve great results. I tried it everyday but not very seriously. During the day casually remind myself about my goal to achieve a good grade.

So they are simple positive statements that you repeat to yourself. They are not negative statements. I know it was quite obvious. A lot of us may not realize, how we talk ourselves into negativity. I know it feels fake or just an exercise in self deception.

Patrick Bet-David from Valuetainment puts it like this, He calls it a 'Future truth'. Just Think about it, why should it be a present reality to use it as an Affirmation. It could be something that you strive for and dream about. These affirmations can be seen as an exercise in Self Motivation.

We can also use Affirmations to build a spirit of Gratitude. This has tremendous benefits.


Being Grateful and How it matters



According to Researchers, Joshua brown and Joel Wong in the Article, 'How Gratitude changes you and your brain' Gratitude has tremendous benefits.


In their research, they discovered that it has mental benefits and it also has positive effects on the brain. It can be used as an 'effective beneficial tool'. Please do read the article.

It can have a great benefits in your personal life, relationships and understanding others. It helps us see the positive in our lives. Rather than just building on the positivity it helps by reminding us of the benefits we are receiving from various situations, things and life in general.

Woo woo and the known

The science behind the 'Law of Attraction' is highly questionable. They try to use Quantum Mechanics and then use that as a spring board to tie it with affirmation and give it magical powers.

I don't see why they should build such a big claim on limited evidence. Quantum Mechanics is a science and there is scope for learning a lot more information. This can transform technology. But to claim that it would attract riches and good health is largely unproven scientifically.

Yes, I must say if you have a spiritual or religious connection to the theory than the topic would need to be approached from a different route. I don't see the connection it has with Science and how is different from Psychological benefits

Here is an interesting article by Ashley L. Peterson where she explores the question if Thoughts vibrate, Check it here.

Reasonable Use of know facts

Affirmations are not inherently magical


I believe in the reasonable use of facts ( and let me add experiences). I am not saying that we should discount spiritual experiences, but I do believe we must practice a certain level of healthy skepticism.

We know about the psychological and practical benefits of practicing Gratitude. We can now start by actually writing our own Gratitude statements.

Some tips to write your own Gratitude Statement:
Step 1: Write it in the 1st Person.
Step 2: You could begin the statement with 'I am'.
Step 3: Avoid using negative statements or words.
Step 4: Write them down.
Step 5: Read them aloud to yourself.

You create a gratitude journal, Please check this article on  Creating your own Gratitude Journal.

My Top Affirmations for Gratitude

  1. I am filled with thanksgiving.
  2. I am grateful and thankful.
  3. I am grateful for a good sleep, job etc. (add the Benefit you enjoy) 
  4. I am grateful for all of my successes.
  5. I am grateful for all of my mistakes and failures.
  6. Thank you for this New day.
  7. Today I will have an attitude of gratitude.
  8. I am grateful for everything in my life.
  9. Today I will have an attitude of success.
  10. I am grateful for all resources I have.
In Conclusion

It can be surprising how simple practices and strategies can enhance life. Self Development is a personal journey.

Practicing gratitude is just not a virtue but also a healthy practice that can enhance your mental and overall health.

I send out regular emails sharing additional content on Self Development and updates. Please do subscribe by using this link.

Do Share & Comment on How you practice Gratitude!

References

Study on Affirmation

Positive Affirmation by Actualized.org

Reasons to Practice Gratefulness

Power Ideas on Experience your Daily Miracles

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The Art of (taking) Short breaks and why you need one right now?

January 19, 2021

 


Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels


Surfing the Net and Taking Breaks

Net surfing is a favorite pastime for a lot of us (lol, Now I feel less guilty). I came across this youtuber Joshua Fluke. 

I must say it is a very interesting video where he talk about work culture and a software that literally sneaks on people.



I am not going to discuss about the video, you can check it out. But what got me thinking through this video was about work culture.

Besides the bad side of Work Culture, there are positive sides to it. One thing this current situation has taken from us is this one thing that I loved about 9 to 5 jobs, that is taking a break.

Imagine a Software that monitors you every 5 minutes that's horrible. Coffee breaks was one of the important moments in my work life.

I really enjoyed it, it was like a short vacation but only for a couple of minutes. Nice and hot coffee with myself or sometimes a colleague. It was simply phenomenal.

Vacations and Short Breaks

Vacations can be short

The joy of small things can be something really big. I think even during this situation when most of us work from home, we need to remind ourselves that we need to take some timeout.

Please don't think this is unproductive time. You are human, sometimes creativity and problem solving require you to do things differently. Taking a break can be one of them.

So does every break need to be a vacation that is 3 days long to a small coffee break. I think it depends.

It depends on factors like work life balance, your mental health and how you balance personal relationships.

Evaluating these areas of your life can be an important step. Next step would be trying to see the importance of dealing with negative stress.

Work Stress and living

Every Work has it's share of Stress

Every work comes with it's share of stress. We need to strategize ways to deal with it. Just because you are working from home. It does not mean you are balancing you work and life.

Check this article from The Hindu that talks about the stress of working from home.

It does not mean you have no stress. Taking short breaks can be a nice way to deal with stress.

Now the important question. What does one do on a short break?

Here are some ideas you could use:

  1. Have some Coffee (Lol :))
  2. Have some Tea
  3. Take a short walk
  4. Sprint 
  5. Do a stretch
  6. Meditate
  7. Pray
  8. Repeat your affirmations
  9. Evaluate your day
  10. Plan for the Next day
  11. Write an article or a blog related to your work
  12. Research on a topic that interests you
  13. Message your loved one
  14. Tweet
  15. Don't Check social media
  16. Read some scripture or any book or person that inspires you
This is not a comprehensive list.

The art is in how you understand your needs and respond to it. Years ago, when I decided to shift from yo-yo diets to dealing with my personal problems. I took a break and it really helped me see the important things in my life.

Even nowadays as a Self employed Educator and Blogger, I see the importance of short breaks. It has helped me tremendously.

Conclusion

Productivity is important as it is the value we add to this world. Being productive with the other faculties we have and our own personal life is equally important.

Take sometime out and refresh yourself. You deserve it. I hope you liked this post.

Please do comment how you spend your coffee break, I will meet you in the next Blog. Ciao!

Have a Happy Learning Day! Jai Hind! [full-width]


A fresh year, a fresh hope, Moment to start a fresh

January 04, 2021

 

A Fresh page to achieve your goals



I always wondered if everyone felt New years day was something special and for sometime I assumed it was.

Later to learn that people actually went to work on New years Day. I thought how bad, but they really felt it was important. And some even loved the idea.

To me I have grown to understand that it means different things to different people. 

2020 was not as spectacular a year that a lot of people hoped it would be. It was quite flat and even disastrous to many.

So What's so special about 2021?



I don't know the answer to this question. But I must say that I choose to live it differently. I recently shared my idea about resorting to commitments and not resolutions for the New year. Check it here!

I think hope is something that drives the future. It helps us motivate and push ourselves to achieve better.

So, I think 2021 is special because to some of us it is an opportunity to push things in a different direction. To improve our lives and those of others.

It's an opportunity to work on ourselves and our goals. It is a space where we dare to fulfill our dreams.

See you in the Next Post!

Ciao!

Republished from gumroad.com/chriseducator, 5th Jan, 2021

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5 Important Ideas that bleed strength to your New Year's Commitments

January 04, 2021

 

Tired of New Year's Resolution...Try Commitments


Before We Begin I would like to wish you a Blessed and Prosperous New Year. May joy, peace and good health embrace you and be with you.

You see over the years after many trials I decided commitments are more better than Resolutions. 

Resolutions are very neatly packaged and tightly fitted Goals that seem like a reasonable approach. But for me it was something that did not encourage forget motivate me.





It just reminded me of what I lacked, It was not positive. I have a tendency to be critical which is not bad. But taken to an extreme it can be a discouraging experience.

So this year I decided to adopt Commitments. These are areas of my life that need attention. 

These are like mini projects that can improve this journey called life and enhance it.

Check this list of Interesting Books for your interest, Click Here!

Realization and Key anchors

I realized that succeeding required anchors to help me move ahead. These anchors will keep me grounded to my goals and help me build concrete plans to be successful.

I listed the areas I want to succeed this year. The areas that need attention

The next thing I did was to divide these areas to separate projects.

Each project is related to the other one. For example, If you decided to get a promotion in your current job. You also wanted to reduce your weight. Though these may be separate projects. They have a relations to each other.

Lastly do not keep a huge list. [full-width]

Now do not try to solve these problems like they are resolutions. Do not jump on them and just strike them of your list.

These are areas you have kept as commitments. So if you want to lose some weight. Don't just diet and get it over with. Try changing your lifestyle and let that get you healthy.

Similarly with other goals.

Save your self from Courses that are short of a Scam, Read here

In Conclusion


This 5 Ideas are simple that would help you build 2021 as a fulfilling and blessed year.

There are a lot of things we cannot change but there are some that we can build and shape to help us have a better tomorrow.

Would love to leave you with this simple thought, Remember your goals, they are commitments and not just resolutions.

Further Reading








Resolutions are meant to be broken, but commitments can be kept. We don't need to be perfect along the way. But we can...

Posted by Chris Educator on Monday, 4 January 2021

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